"Between the pages"//Fillie

Chapter 19.- "I am not worthy"

White walls, disinfectant scent, distressed faces, people in robes walking everywhere, that's the typical scenario you find when you arrive at a hospital, but that afternoon Millie did not have time to observe those details, her legs drove her almost like on autopilot through the whole place.

Searching for a specific floor, the cardiology floor.

Looking for a specific room, room 315

Searching for someone ... Alice, her grandmother, the only person she had in life, the only family she had left.

She arrived as fast as she could, after answering that call in the Principal's Office, Mr. Harbour asked for a taxi and she left as soon as possible, with nothing but fear running through her veins.

What had happened? For how long? Had she really been so selfish not to notice that something was wrong with her grandmother's health?

Those questions haunted her and mixed with her daze, Millie held Alice's hand who was unconscious, connected to monitors, surrounded by strange sounds, she tried to understand, she tried to assimilate everything that was happening, trying to remember every word of the doctor, feeling the weight of each word fall on her stomach.

..................................

"Millie, your grandmother was diagnosed with a type of heart disease, it is damage to the left ventricle, this problem occurs mainly in patients over 50 years of age, I do not want to confuse you with medical terms, in short it is a wear and tear of the heart muscle, caused by age, there is still no exact explanation for this, let's say that the body has a biological age and the organs of our system have an expiration date, your grandmother's heart is weak, unable to continue doing the job ". The doctor stared at Millie, giving her time to absorb the information.

"Since when does this happen? She... did she know?". Millie still answered with a daze in her voice.

"She has known this for a month ... she was in treatment, medication was given but there was no guarantee Millie, she knew this could happen at any time".

"But...". Millie tried to ask the most important question. "But there is something else that can be done, right? I mean, some alternative treatment?".

"Yes, Millie, there is ... it is a small surgery, to place a small graft in your grandmother's ventricle, that could stimulate the generation of the cells and restore her strength to continue working properly ... but". The doctor stopped, watching as Millie closed her eyes and dropped a silent tear.

There is always a but...

"Millie ... the success rate for this surgery is 30% ... there is no guarantee that it will work".

"What's the worst that could happen? ... she ... would she die in the operating room?". Millie's voice was almost non-existent.

"No Millie, there is a good chance that she will survive the operation, the risk is that if the operation does not work, we will end up with the little vitality left in your grandmother's heart...If that happens, we could keep it working through a bypass, It is a machine that is in charge of pumping blood throughout the body, like a great mechanical heart ... but that would only be for a short period of time, So you ... ". The doctor stopped here a bit, no matter how much experience he had, these things were always difficult to say.

"So you have time to talk to her and say goodbye appropriately Millie ...".

"So ... is that all? ... our only chance is an operation that has a 30% chance of working? ... Should I choose that doctor?". Millie wrapped her arms around her chest, seeking comfort, giving herself that hug that no one was capable of giving her at the time.