Erased - Analogical

[Chapter Twenty-Six]

|POV Patton|

It didn't take long after I had volunteered to stay out with Roman for the other three to begin their journey into whatever the Reverse Room contained. I just hope they had a safe journey. And above all, I just hope they manage to get my Kiddo back. I was beyond clueless when imagining it what I'd do without Virgil back.

But still, I had no clue how long they would be in there, which means I could be stuck out here with Roman for a possible long time. Currently, me and him were stood a distance away from eachother, neither of us brave enough to look the other in the eye. I had to repeatedly ask myself the question of 'how do I still feel about Roman?'. But no matter how many times I tried to think of the truthful answer my mind blanked. I could only either think of nothing or only think of hundreds of additional questions. Or maybe... I did actually know the answer, I just wasn't sure if I was ready to admit that to myself. But I just needed to talk to him.

"Roman-
"Patton-"

Roman and I accidentally called out each others name at the same time in sync. We turned to face eachother as I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment.
"Ah! I'm sorry!" I apologised immediately before insisting, "please, you first."

A second of silence flickered through the air as I could tell Roman was clearly pondering over what he was about to say to me.
"I realised I never got the chance to say this but... Patton, I'm so unbelievably sorry for everything that I did to Virgil. I know that I'm the reason this whole thing is happening but... I promise on my life I never thought it would turn to this. I- I just thought it would be something I'd be able to ignore and somehow the karma would never come back... but I was so wrong."

He was being sincere. I knew that for a certainty. It took a lot to get Roman to admit he was in the wrong, so for him to admit this without anyone forcing him to was a huge tell. But... it didn't change anything truly.

"Roman.. I-" I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes right now, "I would say I accept your apology but... there's nothing to apologise to me for. I'm not the one who had to suffer from this. I mean, Virgil is the one you should save your apologises for. Plus, it was Remus and Janus' burden to carry of wondering why their close friend just left them. Not to mention that Logan had to keep this secret for so many years- I- just... what I'm trying to say is I'm the last person you need to say sorry to. But... just for the record, I'm not angry with you either."
Being able to confess that to him was like removing a huge weight off of my shoulders. I wanted the other 4 to come out of this situation happy but that doesn't give me the excuse to just ignore how Roman feels too.

"But-.. why?" He scrunched his brows at me.

I couldn't help but tilt my head to the side in confusion, "Huh? Why what..?"

"Why aren't you angry...?" He clenched his fist as he said it, like there was a burning anger inside of him. But not an anger directed to me, it was anger for himself, "Patton I know how much you care for Virgil and how you just want the tension between the Dark and Light Sides to cease... but what I did not only hurt Virge, but it also made the tension between our two sides worse!"

Hm... that really was a good question. But it was a question I had asked myself already.
I think I knew the answer.
I felt a small smile appear on my lips as I looked up to face him in the eyes, "I can't be angry at you... it's just too hard."

He was clearly taken aback by my answer, "I... I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, Padre-?"

"I guess I just can't find it in my heart to hate you or be angry," I shrugged, "like there's an emotion blocking it. Maybe it's the same emotion that made Logan listen to Virgil instead of exposing you." I mumbled the last part to myself but I wasn't fully confident that Roman didn't hear it.

"Patton... what are you trying to say here..?" He questioned, I could feel my heart skip slightly. Oh god, why did I have to do this to myself. It was definitely too late to turn this convo around now. Was now really an appropriate time to come to terms with and confess how I felt to Roman? I was almost certain that the feelings weren't mutual, but I didn't know how much longer I could keep them to myself either.

"Roman I- just listen. I already know that you don't feel the same, and that's ok! I can't expect things like this to be replicated, I mean, my life isn't like yours. I don't live in a fairytale," I accidentally let out a small giggle as I was saying this to cover up any sorrow that was trying to show, "but I really do like you... a whole lot. And I don't know what to do about that. This whole thing has been confusing but... I can't keep it to myself anymore. I just hope you understand."

Tears had already threatened to spill out of my eyes by this point, a few of them actually falling down my cheek. Roman was speechless for a minute as we both stood there in mutual silence, both just processing.

He opened his mouth to respond, but of course, this situation couldn't get cleared up as quickly as it started. Before Roman even had the chance to speak and give his response, our eyes immediately shot over to the still-open door into the Reverse Room.

I was unsure how much time had passed since they went in, maybe 15-20 minutes? But finally, Remus and Janus exited out of the Reverse Room with Logan trailing behind them. With closer look, Logan actually seemed to be cradling a figure in his arms.

Was that...Virgil?
Oh my god.
He looked so different- his clothes were different and his skin was a ghostly pale. He looked so weak and yet peaceful as he lay asleep in Logan's arms.
But... they found him.

"We need to take him to the Dark Mind palace," Janus spoke up and switched his view between me and Roman a few times, "there's no point in taking him to the Light Mind Palace, we need to pass back through the village for that and the Minor Sides would only pose as another issue."

My dad instinct panic had kicked in and I didn't even care to object to the idea of staying in the Dark Mind Palace. I simply nodded as Remus and Janus begun leading the way. I followed behind next to Logan's side as Roman just followed behind us two.
I attempted to extend my arm to place my hand on Virgils cheek and feel if he was ok, but Logan nudged my arm away before I even got the chance. He wasn't letting anyone touch Virgil while he was in this state.

Occasionally, Logan would lean his head down to Virgils ear and mumble things to him. I wasn't able to make out exactly what he was saying, but all the stress that Logan had pent up this whole time was clearly slowly coming into the light.

[1300 Words]

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If this makes little to no sense, I apologise. I am tired

-MM