Erased - Analogical

[Chapter Thirty-Four]

-Possible TW/CW for panic attacks-

|POV Janus|

"Para? Para-? Can you hear me right now?"
I whispered in a hushed tone as I was crouched next to Virgil. Did I actually know what had happened while me and Remus were out of the room? Nope, but I could make an estimated guess atleast. Either way, the bottom line was Virgil was freaking out right now and I needed to calm him. While Remus was talking with Logan, presumably trying to ask what happened, I had immediately rushed over to Virgils side.

I tried to make my voice as calm and non-threatening as possible, "Hey, Para... Virgil, please just try focus on my voice right now. It's me, Jan, I promise you're safe right now. Can you look up at me?"
It hurt so badly to hear his hushed yet jagged breathing. Slowly and clearly cautiously, he rose his head to meet my eyes. It was almost unnoticeable but I could see the apprehension in his gaze slightly lessen at my familiar face.

"Ok that's good. Don't worry , just deep breaths. I'm here and Remus is also here. You're gonna be okay. That loud noise was just something breaking, nothing is wrong and you are safe " he was clearly still struggling to breath in a steady pace but it was good enough that he was calm enough to consciously try to calm it. "Hey, do you mind if I touch your hand a second? I'm going to try a breathing exercise with you here."

He whimpered slightly while clearly trying to nod his head, a good enough sign for me to go ahead with it. Gently, I placed my hand on top of his in a reassuring manor and begun to tap rhythmically in time with my words.
"Ok, breath in for four seconds," I whispered while tapping four beats onto his hand, "now hold that for seven seconds," I repeated seven taps onto his hand this time, "and now exhale for eight seconds."
We repeated the breathing pattern a few times after I finished counting eight beats until his breathing was back on track. He was clearly much more self aware and conscious now.

And that's when I met his eyes with mine again. Not the light sides Anxiety, not even the dark sides Anxiety, this was our paranoia.
The side I raised as if he was my own son, he was returned to me.
My paranoia.

I couldn't help myself from brandishing the most proud and reassuring smile I could while repressing any and all urges to cry. His eyes were still puffy but he had clearly come down from his panic attack now. He gave me a frail smile, very obviously trying to put his persona back on. The persona of 'paranoia' was much different to the persona of 'anxiety', paranoia had so much more self confidence and was such a cocky dude. I always just assumed the anxiety made Virgil question his self confidence while as paranoia he was without a doubt convinced that he was in the right, which would be where his confidence came from.

I raised my eyebrow ever so slightly as if to ask 'you feeling better'?. He quirked the edge of his lip to try form another smile as he opened his mouth to speak this time,

"T..Thanks, Dad.."

He chuckled under his breath after he said it. I could feel my heart both stop and warm hearing him say that again in his normal tone. For awhile, when Paranoia was still around, we used to joke around and literally call eachother son and father due to my protective nature and his snarky teen nature . And he still remembered that joke.

I couldn't help but scoff under my breath as I flicked his shoulder in a joking manor, pushing myself up to my feet and holding my hand out for him to take. He took it hesitantly and was soon back up on his feet too.

"Glad to see you're back with us, kiddo," I said with a playful chuckle. It felt nice to call him that again. "And like I said, Remus is here-" the words fell out of my mouth before I even had the chance to think as I instinctively gestured to Remus, and as a result, subsequently gestured to Logan. I could feel Virgil tense up behind me as he pulled his hand away from mine and glared daggers into Logan.
"Who is he-?" Virgil stared Logan down as his voice gained its intimidating undertone again.

"Woah, woah, woooahhh, ignore me why don't you?" Remus chuckled maniacally as he stood infront of Logan to block half of Paranoias view of him, tilting his head at Virge and holding out his arms expectantly as if he was gesturing for a hug, "don't I get a hello too?"

It took him a moment, but emotions were clearly swelling up deep inside of Para, causing him to push past me gently and run into the arms of his best friend. "I missed you..." Remus mumbled, only to gain a dismissive scoff from Virgil.
"You miss me? Tch, I've only been asleep, you act like i disappeared for years," he joked obliviously. Remus laughed in return, clearly finding the painful irony of that joke funny.

Eventually, they pulled away from the hug and their eyes fell back on Logan, who only responded to their gaze with an awkward smile , clearly unsure what to do.

"Welp, ~introduction time i guess~" Remus laughed as he moved away from Virgils side to stand in between him and Logan, "Virge, meet Logan. This is the third light side from the other side of the mind. More OfFiCaLLy known as Logic. He's.. a friend of mine and Janus."

Silence fell upon the room.

"Greetings," Logan eventually shattered the silence with his cold, monotone voice, "it is.. a pleasure to meet you, Paranoia." He extended his hand for a handshake which Virge immediately declined at, understandably. But, the small waver that could be heard in Logan's voice as he reintroduced himself to the Love Of His life? That was an honest emotion seeping through his calculated and stone cold persona.
True pain, just for a moment.

---
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Just a small thing
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