One More Chance

Forty One

Milan-

Wake after wake, message after message and endless tears until it was the day of her funeral.

Pop cancelled his show to be with me even after I insisted that I would be okay.
I pulled him towards me, helping him button up his shirt and fix his tie, the mood was was so gloomy but I was holding up well so far.

"You ready? We should head out" he said as he picked up my purse and his keys.
"Lemme just put my shoes on, go ahead I'll be out in a minute" he nodded and walked out the door, I walked down the hall back to my room and put my black heels on the picked up my shades.

I walked out making sure the house was locked and went out to the car.
"Your mom ain't coming?" Pop asked as he pulled off "Yeah shes coming off of work so she gotta come home then to the funeral " he nodded and rubbed my leg as we drove.

We got to the church where the funeral was and it was packed, we parked and got out then went in.
I saw people I haven't seen in years and then people I've never seen before, the death of someone shouldn't be the only time we come together.
I smiled and hugged everyone I knew and shook a few hands, olagues with the questions 'how are you feeling?'
'Are you okay?' Or 'how you holding up' and with all the questions I smiled and honestly waz fine.

Jade's mom, Ms.Martha called me up to the front with the rest of the family as Bashar followed behind.
Everyone settled in and it was silent with little whispers and murmurs, they started off with a song On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand, which was sung by her aunt and the congregation sang as well.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of a daughter, a sister, niece and friend. Jade Matthews" the priest said and get mom gave me a faint smile then looked up at the pastor.
And I still held up, through the songs, many persons sharing memories and videos, her brother went up to read the eulogy, they were inseparable basically her befriend besides me.

He started reading and I could hear the pain in his voice.
"There's no reason for me to be reading the eulogy of my little sister, she was my bestfriend." He started but then broke down, his mother went up and stood next to him, rubbing his back as he cried and I stared blankly into space.
He gave the perfect description of Jade, spoke about her sense of humour, her kindness, outgoing personality and more. I even laughed at some of the memories he mentions which I remembered.

Brandon, Jade and I were all friends before I stopped talking to him but the memories stayed. He ended and read a bible verse before he got off the stage, now they had the viewing of the body and then they opened her casket.
Bashar stood and put his hand out which I refused, I refuses to see my bestfriend in that death box, I shook my head no as he begged me then Ms. Martha walked over to me and put her hand out and I hesitated but then  got up as we walked to the casket.

I stood in front of the casket looking down at Jade and she looked so different but peaceful.

My heart broke all over again, I leaned over the casket and hugged her, I felt hand on my back as I screamed hoping that I could scream life back into her.
It finally hit, the fact that so wouldn't see her again, no work, no calls, no hugs no nothing.

"Jade, please please please!"my voice cracked and someone at my side held me up.
They pulled me away "No " I cried and the cries of Jade's Mom, Dad and brothers filled the room as well with the sobs of others.

Bashar pulled me into his arms "Its okay baby" he whispered over and over again in my ear as I cried in his shirt and my mom hugged the both of us.

They closed the casket and her brothers and cousins took it out of the church so that we could head to the cemetery. We got in the car and follows the hearse.

After they buried her and even more tears we headed back to  their house where they served food but I lost my appetite, Bashar packed some for me though to take home after everything we headed back to Bashar's apartment.

"You okay mamas?" He  put my purse down on the counter and went in the fridge taking out a bottle of water.
I nodded as I took my heels off and walked over to him to unzip my dress.

I walked into his room and stepped out of the dress putting it in the hamper, I wrapped myself in my towel and went to the bathroom.

I filled up the tub and Bashar came in with his vest and his dress pants on while lighting a blunt, I filled the tub with my aromatherapy soap, took the towel off and sat in the tub.

Bashar passed the blunt as I got in and sat on the toilet.
"I know you're hurt right now ma but I got you, I'm here for you ight" I gave him a faint smile as I passed back the blunt.

He undressed and got in the tub behind me, I didn't expect my friend to die, it was so sudden and unexpected. I sat there thinking about everything while Bashar put on some music.

Eventually I started crying again and he hugged me "It's okay mama, its okay"he rubbed my back.

After the bath we took a shower together then I put on one of his boxers and his t shirt, we got in bed together and we watched The Lion King.
I layed on top of him as he rubbed my back and kissed my forehead until I fell asleep.