One More Chance

Fifty

Milan-

My mom and I sat in the room waiting for feedback, they checked the heartbeat and nothing, ultrasound same thing. I felt guilt and pain.

My unborn child, if I had been more careful this wouldn't happen, if I said something maybe they could've done something, I neglected my child from the start.

"You should call Bashar" I shook my head and wiped my tears.
"No, I don't need him, he doesnt need to know where I am or what's going on"

"Milan Oh stop your bullshit! That's his child too man, If you didn't want a child by him maybe you shouldn't have had sex with him or at least be careful. You can't exclude him, at least give him a message"

I pulled out my phone and went to his number then opened our messages.

Poppa💙- nigga get your puppy a damn bowl and stop using my shit

Me- I love you more
Me and my puppy🤗💙
Poppa💙- hurry up and come over I miss you baebas

I rolled my eyes and unblocked him then called.
It rang one time then he picked up.

"Milly?"
"Uh yeah, um I'm at the hospital, thought you should know."
"Why? You good?"
"I just fell and I started bleeding" he got quiet.

"I'm coming"
"No I'm fine, mommy's here"
"You sure?" I sighed

"I'm sure"
The doctor walked in
"I gotta go bye"

I smiled nervously and looked up at the doctor.
"So Milan, your baby did not make it unfortunately" I broke down and my mom hugged me and the guilt took over.

"Im sorry love" she said and rubbed my shoulder.
"But we need to remove it as soon as possible okay."
She looked through her chart and sighed.

"We have an open spot for 10 am" I nodded
"Okay well you're booked, Im sorry hun" she walked out and my phone rang.

"Hello?"
"You still at the hospital?" The lump in my throat grew bigger and I tried to talk but couldn't, How was I gonna tell him I lost out child. He was so excited.

I passes the phone over to my mom and allowed her to talk.
"Bashar, yes it's me
Milan lost the baby" she put it on speaker and I heard him crying.
"What? How bro how hard did she fall? Oh my God son" I sobbed and hung up.

We did the procedure and I was discharged, I walked out the room and went down to the first floor.

"Milan?" Hakeem called out and walked towards me.
"Hey"
"What you doing here? You okay"
"Yeah just here with my mom" he nodded and I smiled nervously, my mom called out for me as she walked through the door leaving.
"I gotta go, talk to you later okay" he smiled and I left.

I felt like a wave of depression came over me and I felt guilt, sadness just broken.
I checked my messages

Brent📌- Hey I thought you wasn't gonna talk to me wassup?

I opened and texted back
Me- just so much going on, sorry :/
Brent📌- let's talk then
Me- I don't wanna drown you with my problems lol
Brent📌- doubt that you would, you seem like you need to talk and I'm a good listener

I looked at the message with a straight face, I felt nothing even though Brent was literally one of my favourite singers, me losing my child was bigger and I felt a heaviness over me.

Me- okay I guess

He called and for the first three minutes we just sat in silence and stared, until I spoke up.
"I shouldn't have said yes this is awkward"

"Whenever you ready, i have time" I smiled little.
"Well um, my boyfriend" I said with air quotes.
"Um we've been on and off but we were good again, found out I was pregnnt and we were gooduntil he told me well he worked for the man that killed my father, so I left him the day after he flew me out to LA while he was on tour. I left and came back to New York"  I stopped and he nodded.
"Mhm go ahead'

"Well that broke me a little, felt like what the hell, he hid this for so long and he knew about me before I knew about him because that same man he was working for wanted him to kidnap me. I left and well yesterday I was in the shower and I fell on my stomach and this morning I woke up in blood. I lost my baby and well I don't know what to do now. Kinda feel guilt cause I swore up and down I didn't want the baby after I found out what he was doing and now that my baby's gone I feel horrible. Maybe if I was a bit thankful instead of being bitchy my baby would still be here  "

"Accidents happen, its cool cause you still have the chance of creating life and at least with someone you want that with because I know you wanted the baby but not with him. Don't pull yourself down over it, doubt your child would want their father to be someone that was sent out to kidnap their mom" I smiled and he smiled back.

"Thank you, I needed that"
"And I'm here if you need me Milan, I don't usually give my number fans  but that night I thought you know maybe this girl can be an exception. Your energy is different"

"I can't believe I'm talking to you, ask anyone I love you" I giggled and he laughed as well.
"I know all your songs word for word and I just I don't know"
"Die hard, now you're my friend"

Bashar-

My heart broke hearing the news, I felt guilty. If I hadn't said those stuff we wouldn't be here.
My concert was tonight and I couldn't leave but I had to go see her after for sure.
Would she want to see me though? She hates me, I did do some dirt and I confessed to her thinking she would understand but I guess if it was the other way I'd be torn too, especially if it was the love of my life.

My energy was low, tired, heartbroken bro and I couldn't do this.
My baby was gone, both of them.  
Everyone kept asking if I was okay but I had no energy to talk, I ruined everything between us and if it wasn't for me our baby would still be here.

My babygirl hated me.