My Boy// SnowBaz ✔️

Chapter 20

Baz

Simon and I have been hanging out almost every night for the past two weeks, and almost every night after he goes home I find myself desperately having to get off. I haven't called up any of my usual fuck buddies, because I know Simon would consider that cheating, but damn this boy is frustrating my body. I think there's something about knowing that I can't have him that makes it so much harder. And on top of that, I know I can have him if I ask, but it feels wrong to ask when I know it's something that he doesn't practically enjoy. For me, getting consent is an enthusiastic yes from the other person, but with Simon, it's more of a shrug and a content smile.

Simon

I really want to understand Baz, I'm able to happily accept his enjoyment of sex, but I want to understand it. I realize that I'm getting ahead of myself. Just because he's a sex worker, and my boyfriend doesn't necessarily mean he wants to explain everything to me.

Actually, who am I kidding, Baz would be thrilled to explain it to me, I'm sure. I'm on my way over to see him now, and I'm suddenly excited. As I drive over to his place I make a list in my mind of all the questions I have, and all the things I want to know. It's weird, I don't think I could have this type of relationship with anyone else. Baz is just so honest and genuine about sharing his thoughts and feelings, I don't feel weird asking him in-depth questions about sex.

Baz

Simon walks into my flat while I'm laying on the couch. Lately, we've both been so exhausted that we don't usually do much when we hangout.

We'll usually just watch a movie and cuddle. It's really nice though, having someone you can just be with without feeling the obligation to keep up an interesting conversation.

I guess Simon has something else in mind tonight however, because as soon as he settles beside me on the sofa, he crawls into my lap. His mouth is on mine hungrily, and I almost laugh against his chapped lips. I never know what to expect from this man, he's such a surprise every time I see him.

"What sort of sex stuff do you like?" Simon asks, pulling away from our kiss. He really is a surprise

"What?!" I laugh.

"What? I've been thinking about it, and I want to know" he shrugs. There's a smile that almost looks like a smirk playing on his lips.

"This is the greeting I get after a long day of class?" I poke him in the side playfully, and he jumps, before slapping my hand away.

"Come on Baz" Simon looks up at me hopefully.

"Okay?" I frown at him skeptically. I open and close my mouth a couple times, searching for my words. As much as I'm happy to discuss sex with people usually, it's different when it feels like I'm just being questioned "Simon this is weird"

"No it's not, I just wanna know" he keeps pushing for it. And I roll my eyes at him.

"Okay, I usually like being dominated, and I have a couple kinks..." I shrug, I don't mind sharing that with him.

"Like what?" I still can't figure out his motive right now, his energy keeps switching from hypersexual, to an absolutely oblivious idiot (but in a lovable way).

"Hm let's see Bondage, hair-pulling" I start counting what I say off on my fingers. "Just like BDSM in general" I shrug, surveying Simons face to see his reaction before continuing. "breath control but only as a top, I'd never let someone choke me or suffocate me in any way" Simon looks shocked, like he'd expect that to be the same answer for everyone. I must say I am enjoying his shocked expression, I wonder what else I can throw in there to really freak him out. "I also love, like absolutely love making my partners stand on their head while singing the top hits from the Beetles" I laugh halfway through, giving myself away. Simon rolls his eyes and groans.

"Come on Baz be serious, I wanna know" he complains.

"What do you mean? I am being serious" I still haven't been able to stop laughing.

"Baz come on" he sounds weirdly serious, and that's a bit of a shock.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. I was serious up until the whole Beetles thing" I'm trying so hard to keep a straight face, but when I know I can't laugh is exactly the time when I can't control myself.

"Okay now just trust me on this, but can you describe what that would feel like for you" this man can't be serious, there's no way.

"Simon what?" I'm honestly just dumbfounded.

"Please"

"No. Literally that sounds like the most awkward conversation I could think of, I'll pass" I'm still laughing, and don't feel like I'm going to stop anytime soon.

"You literally fuck strangers for a living, but this is where you draw the line?" He asks incredulously, and I think it was meant to be a joke, but it didn't come across that way. My laughter evaporates into tense silence.

"Okay and you literally don't even want to fuck your own boyfriend, so why do you even care to know what I like?" I shoot back, and as soon as the words leave my mouth I feel guilty.

Heavy silence hangs in the air between us for what feels like hours, but in actuality was probably only a couple seconds.

"You know what? Maybe I should go" he frowns, and starts getting up to leave.

"Simon" I try to get him to look at me, but his determined gaze is set on my door.

"Just don't" he stops me from speaking before I can even start. As soon as the front door shuts behind him, my guilt devolves into anger.

If he didn't want to stick around to try and work it out, that's not my problem. I don't even think twice as I open my phone to call Jamie, one of my usual fuck buddies.  I wouldn't call us friends with benefits, because we aren't really friends, but we're into the same stuff and he's always happy to be rough with me. And fuck, I need that right now. I need good angry rough sex with someone that doesn't mean anything to me.

"Hey?" He picks up the phone.

"Hey, come over," I tell him.

"I'll be there in 10, be ready for me" he chuckles into the phone and hangs up.