My Boy// SnowBaz ✔️

Chapter 24

Simon

I stop by a convenience store before getting to Baz's house and pick up a bouquet of flowers. If I'm being honest I'm still feeling guilty about our fight. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I think it's better to be safer than sorry. I want Baz to know that I'm truly sorry, even if it was just a petty fight.

I knock on the door to Baz's apartment before walking in. I greet one of his friends that is sitting on his sofa, before shouting a hello into his flat. Baz comes around the corner to meet me, but I'm confused as I watch his step slow and his face fall as he sees me. "Hey?" My brow furrows as he shakes off his tight expression.

"Hey" he smiles, and pecks me on the lips. I smile against the kiss, enjoying the simplicity of it.

"I- I brought you some flowers, just 'cause, you know" I shrug, feeling stupid as I hand him the roses.

Baz

My heart clenches as Simon hands me the bouquet that he felt the need to get me. I don't understand how such a good person can exist, he's so beautifully innocent and caring, and I'm a fucking disappointment.

"Thank you" my voice shakes, and I watch his face fall. He thinks I don't appreciate them, and that couldn't be further from the truth. They're such a gorgeous gesture, a gesture that I really don't deserve. As I ponder that, I can't help but think that he deserves something as well, the truth.

"Simon, can we go on a walk" I ask, I want to get out of the flat, away from my friends' prying ears. I love them, but I haven't told any of them about my major fuck up, and now isn't the time to let them in on my problems.

"Um, yeah. Okay sure" I can tell he's nervous, and I instantly feel even worse.

"Okay" I smile, and offer him my hand. He relaxes and I tense up.

Simon

I follow Baz out of the flat and feel my body fill with anxiety. The way Baz tensed up when he saw me just screamed bad news to me. He couldn't want to break up over our small disagreement, right? He told me everything was okay...

We walk around until we find a bench to sit at, the whole time the tension between us builds to be unbearable. I sit down nervously, I don't even know what we need to talk about, but I know its something important. "Okay Baz, what's going on?" I ask, not being able to endure the energy that seems to be pushing me down.

"I- Simon" I can tell he's choosing his words carefully. "Simon, I love you I really do, but I made a mistake" that sounds bad, very bad. "And I'm telling you this, because you deserve the truth, and you deserve my respect" he tells me, and I feel a snap in the energy. He's not breaking up with me, he's apologizing... "the night that we had a bit of a fight..." I can tell he's struggling to get the words out, and a painfully uncomfortable thought suddenly finds its way into my brain.

"Did you cheat on me?" I ask bluntly, and pray for him to do anything other than nod. I'd rather him roll his eyes, or snarle at me for even bringing up the idea. But he doesn't, he nods timidly, and my heart drops.

Baz

He's staring me down, and I can see the hurt in his eye, and it dawns on me that there's nothing I can do to fix this. "I'm- I'm so sorry, Si-"

"Don't- just stop" he shakes his head. I wish he'd yell at me, make a scene, something to distract from the shame filling my my body. But instead I watch as his eyes slowly fill with tears.

"Si, I" I try again, I need him to know that I still love him, I still need him.

"Fuck off, you know that I'm not the typical person you'd date, you know that that isn't okay with me. But you did it anyway" he shakes his head at me in disbelief.

"You're right, there's nothing to excuse what I did. But I need you to know that it was a mistake and I realize that, and if you'd still be willing to stay with me, it will never happen again" there's a desperation that's creeped into my voice and I hope he can hear that I'm telling the truth.

He just shakes his head, and gets up from the bench. I'm not always one hundred percent sure what Simon is doing, but right now this seems like a very obvious message. "I think we need a bit of a break" he drones. The lack of emotion in his voice is sickening, but it's what I deserve.

"Okay" I nod. It takes everything with in me to not get on my knees and beg for him to stay, to give me a second chance. I've put him through enough, he deserves better. He gets up to walk away, and I have to force myself to not chase him. As I watch him walk away with his hands shoved in his pockets, I swear I hear him crying. And I hate myself even more for taking peace in knowing that he's upset... damn I really am the worst.