The Way You Look At Me (VA Series 2)

Thirtieth

Joerish

"Miss Rivera, we already received a lot of complaints from RHC due to your poor performance on your internship. May we know what's bothering you? Failing this term may be the reason for you not to graduate. You don't want that right?"

I nodded. Next week na ang exams namin and I should at least focus with that. It was supposed to be today pero mabuti na nga lang at na-move pa. As much as I wanted to focus on my studies, parang ang hirap-hirap namang gawin. I really wanted to end well but things came up at parang nawalan na ako ng direksiyon. Sobra na akong naliligaw. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako papunta .

I can't go home kasi hindi ko lang matanggap ang nangyari sa family ko. Dad was in the States for days now. My Mom was left here and she was the one taking care of some errands. While Kuya... I am still worried about him. Hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako nakakatanggap ng kahit anong text or tawag from him. Hindi pa rin siya nagpapakita at hindi ko pa rin alam kung nasaan siya.

And here I am, wanting to be okay pero hindi ko magawa. I've been living at Jessica's house for now kasi siya nalang ang matatakbuhan ko. As much as I wanted to be at Ryseann's side, alam kong hindi ko rin siya matutulungan. With the state I am having, we are both hopeless.

"Aayusin ko po ang exams ko and I'll do better." I said at least.

"You must. Let this serve as your warning. Miss Rivera, you are failing. Siguro naman ayaw mong hindi grumaduate diba?" The Dean said.

Yeah, I was talking with the Dean now. Hindi ko na namalayang ganito na pala kalala ang problema ko na aabot na sa Dean ng college ang concern tungkol sa pag-aaral ko.

"Ga-graduate po ako." I nodded and smiled.

"You should. Actually, you are not alone. Kasama rin sa mga binabantayan si Mr. Santos. He's your boyfriend right? Alam mo bang ilang araw na siyang hindi pumapasok? I heard the dilemma about their company and the death of his father. He might fail if he continue being like this."

"Po? Could you at least understand his situation? He is going through a lot right now."

"We are understanding him. Kaya nga wala pa siyang disciplinary action na nakukuha. But as I said, if he continue being like this, I am sorry pero hindi na namin siya matutulungan."

My heart clenched again. Tumango nalang ako sa Dean at nangakong kakausapin ko si Ryseann. Alam kong hindi ko siya gaanong nakakausap these days kasi ayaw kong humarap sa kanya ng ganito.

Paano ko ibibigay ang sarili ko sa kanya kung mismong ako ay basag-basag?

Paglabas ko, naabutan kong nag-aantay na sa akin si Jessica. Agad niya akong niyakap at tinanong kung okay lang ako. I nodded and I still tried to smile although I am struggling a lot dahil sa nangyayari sa akin. Or baka dahil din sa nangyayari sa amin?

"How was it?" Jess asked gently.

"I might fail. I might not be able to graduate." I cried and she hugged me tight.

"Shh... wag kang panghinaan ng loob. You are strong and you have a big dream ahead of you. Don't let this challenge destroy that vision of yours."

"Pagod na kasi ako Jess. Pagod na pagod na ako. I've been facing a lot and hindi ko na alam kung ano ang uunahin ko. Gulong-gulo na ako."

Inalo-alo ako ni Jessica para patahanin ako sa pag-iyak ko. I was crying really heavy and pain was very evident from my sobs. Not just pain pero pati na rin yung pagod, yung lungkot, yung bigat. I just want to disappear right now but if I did, paano si Ryseann?