The Way You Look At Me (VA Series 2)

Twenty Ninth

Joerish

Hindi na ako gaanong nakapag-isip kung ano ang gagawin ko. All I knew is kailangan ko munang isantabi ang nararamdaman ko kasi right now, I have to be Ryseann's strength. Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng bad thing ang ginawa ko or namin at sabay-sabay na nangyayari ang lahat. I want to grieve over my grandfather's death. We see each other a lot but ever since I was young, ang lolo ko ang isa sa mga taong walang ibang ginawa kundi ang mahalin at pasayahin ako.

I can't accept that he is now gone when I needed him the most. I feel like wala na akong kakampi cause I can't see my Mom as my ally anymore. She also hurt me. At wala akong masandalan cause even my Dad and my Kuya is at pain. Si Ryseann nalang ang alam kong kakapitan ko but this thing happened. He treasure his father the most. Beside me, his father is the other person he truly treasures. I know he is in pain. I needed him. He needed me...

We need each other now.

"Ryseann!" I ran as fast as I could nang makarating ako sa hospital.

I saw him seating in one of those gang chairs near the emergency room. He was crying and he was with Rachelle. Rachelle was comforting him. She was telling something to Ryseann and I don't know what is that. I didn't bother. At least Rachelle was there to comfort him when I was gone.

"Rish. Mabuti naman at nandito ka na. He needs you." Rachelle said to me.

I saw Ryseann at nakatulala lang siya from somewhere. His tears were very evident from running down through his cheeks. I was so hurt and seeing him likes this hurts me even more.

"Thank you Rachelle." I said.

"Sige na. I am going to look for Tita Wendy pa. She's devastated as well."

"Okay." I nodded.

Nagtungo ako kaagad sa katabing upuan kung nasaan si Ryseann. Hindi ko siya gaanong nakikitang umiiyak. But he was really different when it comes to his father. Without any word, I hugged him tight and I leaned my head on his chest. I hope this could lessen the pain he is feeling.

He wasn't able to hug me back and I understand him. He is devastated. He needs it more. Sapat na sa aking mayakap ko siya para maibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"I can't lose him. H-he's all I have..." His voice broke.

Mas hinigpitan ko pa ang pagyakap ko sa kanya ganun din ang pagbuhos ng mga iyak ko na kanina ko pa sinusubukang pigilan. He's already not feeling well. Sobra na siyang pagod sa pag-aaral. He's doing everything for his father and it's so painful na yung dahilan ng pagsisikap mo ay nakikipaglaban from life and death ngayon.

Ayaw ko ng dumagdag.

I have my own problems to deal with and I don't wanna add to his burdens.

I am not really okay but I could still handle it.

At hanggat kaya ko pa, hindi ako magiging pabigat sa kanya.

"You got me Ryseann. You always have me. And your father will fight. Lalaban siya because he will still witness you soar higher. Let's trust God, okay. Everything happens for a reason."

"Kung sakali mang may mangyari kay Dad..."

"Don't say that. Mahirap mawalan Ryseann." I cupped his face.

"I am just preparing myself para hindi gaanong masakit." He cried harder.

"And if that happened... please don't leave me no matter what. I may have an idea what to happen next but then, please stay... stay with me." He added.