Introduced (Reece Bibby fanfiction)

Chapter 10

"I GIVE UP ON YOU ALICE, IM SICK OF YOU. I NEVER WANTED YOU AND IM NEVER GOING TO WANT YOU. YOU'RE A BURDEN ON EVERYONE. I DON'T WANT YOU HERE AND ITS CLEAR THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE SO JUST LEAVE. I DON'T CARE, IN FACT IT WILL BE BETTER FOR ALL OF US IF YOU GO!"

It was a Friday night and my dad had been home from work for about an hour. By the sounds of it he'd had a bad day and so had I. This argument had been going on for twenty minutes and I'd finally had enough. I stormed upstairs and shoved a change of clothes, pyjamas and my phone charger in a bag. My stepbrother was stood by the door.

"Alice" he said, "you can't go, you've got nowhere to go. Just wait until he calms down and I'll talk to him." I walked passed him, to the top of the stairs.

"I'm sorry Liam, I just need to get away, for tonight at least. I'll come back tomorrow and try and work things out" I gave him a hug and walked downstairs towards the front door. I looked at my dad, he was seething with anger. And then I left.

I just started walking, I had no idea where. I realised I was walking down the path next to the railway line, the way I walk to the boys house. They had been in the house for a few weeks now and I didn't want to be a burden but I had nowhere else to go.

I carried on walking, thinking about everything that was going wrong. I grabbed onto the gate separating me from the railway line and fell to the floor. I closed my eyes as tears ran down my cheeks. 'I can't do this anymore, I can't do it' I thought.

"Just let me fucking die" I said out loud, hoping no one would hear me. I could hear the sound of a train approaching. I looked around to see how far away it was and then thought about how easy it would be, to end everything. All I would need to do is jump the gate and run out onto the tracks. One last second of pain and everything would be over. I'd finally be happy.

I pulled myself off the floor and grabbed my bag. Did I have the nerve to do it though? I wanted to, I wanted to do it so badly, like so many times before. I don't know what stopped me but something did. I just couldn't do it.

The train came speeding past and all I thought about was that missed opportunity. I slid back down to the floor. I took my phone out of my back pocket, which was dead, and took the case off it. This was where I now kept my blade, it was too risky in the bathroom cupboard. One cut, and another, and another, until my arm was covered in lines of red and blood was dripping onto the floor. I needed someone, anyone, Reece.

I stood up again and began running down the path. Within 5 minutes I was at the house, banging on the door and desperately trying to catch my breath.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I heard Casey say. I couldn't speak, I was still sobbing and blood was beginning to show through my sleeves. I looked up at him and he saw the state I was in.

"Oh god, what's happened?" He asked, pulling me into a hug and shutting the door behind him. I just shook my head.

"Casey who is it?" I heard James say from the living room. Casey took my hand and lead me there. As soon as I walked in all eyes were on me. Reece stood up, came over to me and hugged me. I buried my head into his shoulder and broke down, gripping the back of his shirt tightly.

"I can't do it Reece, I can't do it anymore. I give up. I want to die" I said over and over again. I don't care who heard, I just needed Reece.

"It's okay baby, it's all going to be okay" he said, stroking my hair and pulling me in closer. I couldn't stop crying, I looked like an asshole. I am an asshole.

"Alice what's that on your sleeve?" James asked, taking my hand. Reece pulled away from the hug and touched my sleeve. When he took his finger away there was blood on it. Shit, shit, shit. Everyone was staring at me, I couldn't get out of this.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just can't take it anymore. I'm done with everything. I can't do it anymore" I said, sinking to the ground once more.

A/N

I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit full on or if I didn't do it justice, it took me ages to write and its a really difficult topic to put into words, and quite personal as well. I just want to say if anyone reading this wants to talk about any of the stuff in this I'm here and you can message me or DM me on Twitter (@punkrockbibby) or whatever because you aren't alone, I promise. ily x