He's gone, Lewis I mean. He killed himself the other day. I'm in shock, I can't believe it. He never told me anything was wrong, let alone that he was suicidal. He sent me a text that night explaining everything but I didn't think he would actually do it. And then I saw family posting on his facebook page that he was gone. I don't really remember much after that, I've just laid in bed ignoring everyone and everything.
Today was 5th January, the day I was supposed to be going back to school. I couldn't face it, getting there and him not waiting at the gate for me and not spending the whole day with him. In some ways I was angry at the fact he was gone, he left me, he was the only person I had. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I picked up my phone, opened up the message he sent me and read the last few sentences again.
"I got Reece to message you because I want you to be happy. I've always hated seeing you sad and that's why I never told you when I was, I didn't want to add to your problems. I want someone to be there for you when I'm not here and I'm hoping Reece will do that. There's just one last thing I have to tell you. I love you Alice, I always have, ever since the day that we met. I've just never had the nerve to tell you until now. I'm sorry I have to do this, I just can't take things anymore. Goodbye."
I dropped my phone and ran into the bathroom. Why, why did he have to tell me that? He knows I would never think of him in that way. We've always just been best friends. My hand shook as I reached in the cupboard and pulled out a small box. Inside it was a small razor blade wrapped in tissue. I took it out and held the blade to my forearm. I didn't want to go back to old habits and I know that this won't help anything but I just needed to let everything out somehow. I slid the blade across my skin and watched as blood trickled down my arm. It felt good, I felt calm, it was kinda nice. More cuts began to scatter my forearm as I thought about everything I had lost in the past few days. But there was still one thing worth holding onto, one person keeping me going, Reece.
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Introduced (Reece Bibby fanfiction)
FanfictionOnly one friend, a messed up family, a string of mental health issues, Alice is what you would call your average depressed teenager. Nothing seems to ever go right, especially when she loses the one person she holds dear. But there's always light at...
