Introduced (Reece Bibby fanfiction)

Chapter 11

I heard footsteps coming closer and looked up to see all of the boys around me. I put my head on my knees and more tears fell. I didn't want any of this to happen.

"Come on, it's okay" Jake said.

"No it's not okay, I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want you's to find out that I was a self harming, suicidal mess. Now you're all going to think I'm a fucking freak like everyone else. I've walked out of my dads and I don't know what to fucking do. I can't cope with anything, with school, with bullies, with my own family. All I want is to be happy and-" I stopped. I couldn't say it. I could think it, I thought it every second that passes. But I couldn't form the words.

"And what?" Charlie said, sitting beside me and moving my hair out of my face. "You know we would never think of you differently. Just because you are going through a hard time, we aren't going to think you're a freak, we're going to help you through it." I couldn't believe any of that. Things change and people are never there when they say they are.

I stood up and ran out of the room. I needed to be alone. I needed to be dead. I rushed to the kitchen and pulled out a knife, pressing it to my arm.

"Don't you dare press that knife in any further Alice" Reece said, standing right behind me. The knife hadn't broken skin yet but it was about to. I dug the knife in harder.

"ALICE NO" Reece shouted, grabbing the knife off me and throwing it to the floor. I looked at my arm, no blood, no cut. I'd failed. Reece spun me around and cupped my face in his hands.

"Alice listen to me. I can not lose you, you are everything to me. You are everything I ever dreamed of in a person and I love you, so so much. If you kill yourself you are killing me too. Every time you cut yourself you're not only hurting yourself but you're hurting me. Please baby, don't do this"

"The only way I'm ever going to be happy is by being dead" I whispered. I'd said it. I'd finally said it.

In my opinion, one of the hardest things to do is to admit to someone that you love that you are suicidal. To tell them that you'd rather be dead than alive. That you don't want to be breathing anymore. That nothing will make you happy and that all you wanted was to die. To put all of your thoughts and feelings into one persons hands, giving them the choice to crush them or caress them, is a very difficult thing to do. To me, admitting that to someone shows a very strong person, a person who deserves to be loved and treated well. A person who doesn't deserve to die.

It also helps to tell someone, you feel better after it, that you might now have someone to confide in.

I felt a rush of emotions all at once, regret, fear, anger, but mainly relief. I'd finally let out my little secret that I'd kept bottled up for years. And I knew there and then that I was going to have someone who would help me through it, support me and love me when no one else would, including myself.

A/N

I know this chapter is short but it was one I felt I had to write. It was difficult to write and put all of those thoughts and feelings into words but it was an important one. This is a matter I feel very strongly about and I just want to say if anyone reading this feels suicidal please tell someone, a friend, a family member, anyone. It helped me and still does and it will help you. Trust me on this one, you will feel better after it, maybe not straight away, but you will and being able to tell someone is a huge step forward. Consider it at least. ily x