roses. | eren x levi

roses. | thirty-six

"mr. jaeger, it seems like you are back. i've looked into your surgery, and i have good and bad news."

what could the unfortunate message be? it's just an operation.

"the good news is that we can do your surgery whenever you see fit as of right now."

i nearly applauded. "great! where can i sign the papers?"

dr. lambert hailed me down and resumed. "the bad news is, from your x-ray, the vines have advanced and are strangling your lungs. by this, holes have formed in your lungs. the vines have filled those holes."

"this... this is fixable, right? you can surgically remove those."

dr. lambert sat down. 

"there are thorns on the vines. if we remove them, they might leave bigger holes that we do not have the resources to fix. if you get this surgery, there's absolutely no chance for a full recovery. if the surgery is outstanding, then you will be on a breathing machine for the rest of your life. if we mess up even one thing, you will die. i believe it's too late."

"what do you recommend?"

he breathed. "if you want to live as a hopelessly disabled florist for the rest of your life, then go ahead and get the surgery. i, however, would want to live my life to the fullest, even if it's shortened."

i shut my eyes, sensing a distinct lump in my throat. mr. rose was my grave.

i've forever desired to view the seaside. would i ever see the sea now? could i ever observe the shores? or would the daylilies growing harmoniously asphyxiate me as well?

"how long do i have?"

"a few months, at most."

i felt a senseless tear flow down my cheek. "i just, i don't know what to say? i can't believe... this is my end. i thought i was to die in my slumber composedly. i wanted a, i wanted a painless separation. i wanted to feel delicate and willing before i died. is, is this serene? will this be my sympathetic release?"