roses. | eren x levi

roses. | sixty-six

the instant i walked into the fragrant office of alena torres, her eyes scrutinized my face, her lips adapting themselves to mimic my expression.

"oh, eren, are you okay? do you want to tell me about it?"

i felt like crushing the notepad in my grasp, cleaving it into portions so diminutive i would render it unusable. i didn't want to communicate these simmering emotions i was feeling. they were better to be suppressed and glossed over, to be driven to the back of my head.

yet, she seemed too welcoming. she looked like she would scoot closer and listen to my dilemmas for hours, negligent to the time my session suspended. she seemed like a mystic quintessence; like she could heal all my predicaments with one flick of her pencil.

i slid my pad onto the table, and slowly wrote;

mr. rose has invited me to the wedding.

she translated it to verbal speech and halted midway, nearly as dismayed as i was.

"how did this make you feel? how do you feel about mr. rose's fiancee?"

she's a nice woman, but i hate the idea.

"why exactly do you hate it, eren?"

she peered at me with a simper, her elbows on the table, and her head reclining on her palms. i pondered for a few moments then wrote on the sheet once again.

i've known mr. rose longer than she has.

"and yet, she's the one who gets to marry him? you were the one who spoke to him everyday, who gave him the flower that allowed them to meet? do you feel as if mrs. rose is indebted to you somehow for the roses, and her payment for your deeds should be her engagement ring?"

ms. torres did not seem, for one trice, like she was sentencing me, yet i felt so offended by her analogies. they were exact! she conquered all my private principles in one insignificant speculation, and i resented it.

when she ultimately recognized my reserve, she uncapped her pen and commenced her writing.

"eren, i think what you should start doing is painting your roses in a more positive light. instead of seeing them as the reason you will die, start seeing them as your call to adventure. instead of seeing them as the one thing that will prevent you from ever returning to normal, start seeing it as your happiness. your overwhelming happiness and love that built up inside you, because you, eren, have a big heart."