roses. | eren x levi

roses. | fifty-four

"oh, mr. jaeger. i see you've come back?"

i sat down on the furniture that i had previously sat in and smiled at her.

"hello, miss torres."

she planted her palms on the table and scooted her rolling chair closer. "welcome back, mr. jaeger. you have had a change of heart?"

"it was a frightful time for me, you do understand. i had just realized my death sentence, for everyone's sake! life looked devastating and filled with death flowers. i had never even begun to realize there was a white gerbera daisy right in front of me."

"i'm not understanding your metaphors, mr. jaeger-"

"i have found myself, miss torres. and i love myself. i may have learned the skill a little late, but the task is needed in life. in death, as well."

"oh?" she replied with heightened eyebrows. "how has your last update to your condition made you feel, in specifics?"

"well, it was a blur. i was shocked, then i kept trying to tell myself that it wasn't real, that none of it was real. when i did finally register the fact that it was, i got angry, and so pent-up at everything. at myself."

"the first step to recovery is acknowledgement," she said, smiling.  "how long has it been since you've surrendered those feelings?"

"not long," i admitted. i fidgeted with my fingers under the table, my legs crisscrossing themselves.

"well, it is only expected that those feelings are just bottled right now. it will come a time that those feelings will come back to haunt you, but 'tis all a part of recovery. now, do tell me, leading up to today, what have you recently learned about your love interest?"

"i, uh," i rubbed my eye of the moisture that was contemplating its descent. my hands clammed and concealed themselves beneath my femora, and i felt something indigestible pressing on the interiors of my throat. "he got engag-"

i abruptly inclined my head on her desk. she gasped.

my insides felt squishy, and my mouth gaped open.

thirteen roses, with the appropriate quantity of peduncles and petals, detaching themselves from a stem and fell out, one by one. my throat felt parched, void moisture of any variety. the thorns of the roses carved into my mouth and left me gushing out the miniature relics of blood i did possess.

"oh dear," miss torres spoke overhead. "do you want me to call the hospital?"

i was not anxious concerning the experience in general. i was bothered regarding the amount of roses that had befallen.

the roses had a subconscious, and it was tormenting me.