Finding my Leelen [completed]

Chapter 19 I can handle it

Dimitri and I shut the door behind us and try to just breath in and out happy to be just the two of us now. I can't take my mind from what Dara told us, to look into each other's, and I do it.

I close my eyes gliding myself on the close door until I am fully sitting on the floor. I try to concentrate on what I see in his mind and his soul: I find there our moments together, his life before me, girls... God, a lot of girls! He was serious, he really was an asswhole with them. I try to go further into his mind and I find days with him training, a much younger version of Dimitri crying over two dead bodies, probably his parents, his life before they died... It's like his entire life gets untangled between my eyes and I get to know his deepest fears, deepest pains. I can feel his happiness, his pride when an old man tells him he's the strongest warrior ever, his lust over his past girls, his strong love for me. 

When I am ready do give up, sure I will not find anything, there it is. At the bottom of his being I find an imagine with him wearing a crown and I can simply feel what kind of ruler he would be: strong, fair, kind with all the Supernaturals, ready to die for his people. I see witches around him cheering him, I see warriors screaming his name in adoration and I see some dark creatures bowing to him. 

I hiss as I turn to face him and realize he does the some thing, his face shocked mirroring mine.I could tell he did exactly the same thing as me and the answer there was the same as the one I've found. How could this be? How it is possible something like this? 

-You're a king... I say with a low voice.

-And you are a queen... 

-I am no queen, Dimitri! I say fear making its way into my heart.

-Just as I am no king. I know nothing about ruling. I can't even imagine a world like the one I just saw: witches, demons, warriors all together. I can't!

-What are we going to do? I ask feeling tears on my cheeks. 

-Don't cry, leelen! he says kissing the top of my head as he wraps his arms around me. We will think about all of this tomorrow, ok? It was a long day... I don't even know how much time passed since we've been together, it feels like weeks.

-It must have been less than 4 hours, I tell him. But I am exhausted, I admit. My head hurts, I am scared, I don't know how my life will be after all this...

-I am sorry, Anays. I don't think you could go back to your old life... ever. 

As he says the words I feel a heavy weight lifting over my shoulders. I imagined this from the second we got out of the apartment, I knew I will never be able to go back at how things used to be. We are on the run and we will always be. This is the first day of my new life. My new life with Dimitri. But I can't stop myself from thinking about my friend...

I turn to face him and meet his beautiful green eyes staring back at me with worry. I put my hands on his face and kiss him. 

That's all I need,I tell him through the bond.You are all I need, leelen! 

I love you! I will do anything in my power so you can meet Cyra sometimes. I promise you, Anays, you will see her again.

I sit on his lap, with my legs on each side of him without breaking the kiss. I feel our touches changing from sweet and comforting into something passionate and full of lust. I need him so much that I can't wait any longer. I just need him now!

So I start pulling his close out of my way, quickly, and I breath out in frustration when he is naked and I am still fully dress. I close my eyes picturing my own body naked and my close sitting in a pile next to our bodies. If I can set helicopters on fire with my mind, I better be able to undress myself using the same powers.