I Think I Love You-Hamilton AU [COMPLETED]

Chapter Four

Jefferson lied in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had nowhere to go for Christmas break and everyone else did. The Schuyler sisters went North to see their family in New York, Madison went to Virginia, and even Hamilton's friends went on a couple's retreat or went to see family.

So when Hamilton walked into Jefferson's bedroom, Jefferson's eyes widened and he frantically sat up. Hamilton noticed, but ignored it.

"Hey," Hamilton said, rifling through Jefferson's dresser drawers.

"What are you doing?" Jefferson asked, waving away his confusion.

"I think I accidentally put a pair of my socks in a batch of your laundry," Hamilton said before pulling out a pair of white, fuzzy socks. "Aha! Here they are."

Hamilton began to leave, but Jefferson said, "Hey, wait!" Hamilton turned back. Jefferson patted next to him. "Why aren't you with family for Christmas break?"

"Oh." Hamilton looked down sadly.

"Oh! No, no, no, you don't have to talk about it if you want. You don't even have to tell me little snippets. But if you want to talk, I-I'm all ears," Jefferson said.

"It's okay, Jefferson," Hamilton said, taking a deep breath. "It's just... I don't really have any family to go home to. My dad left when I was ten, my cousin killed himself, and I don't even talk to my brother anymore. I kind of taught myself everything I know." Jefferson gasped.

"Hamilton, that's awful." Hamilton shrugged.

"My dad was a bad guy. My cousin wasn't great. I liked my brother, but he's the one who stopped talking to me. I guess I don't really care for family."

"What about your mom?" Jefferson asked.

Hamilton looked down. He never thought about his mom. He pushed her out of her mind. His breath hitched. "U-Um." Jefferson's eyebrows curled upwards. "She died. Uh. She got sick. It was the same sickness I had at the time. She was... the best part of my corrupt family. She kind of never recovered from my dad leaving. She fell into a depression. But she always--" Tears sprang into Hamilton's eyes as his voice cracked. Jefferson started rubbing his back.

"It's okay," Jefferson whispered.

Hamilton sniffed. "She always put on a smile for us, and had fun with us." Tears fell onto Hamilton's lap and he started sobbing. Jefferson pulled him into a hug. Hamilton naturally grabbed Jefferson's hand and clutched Jefferson's sweatshirt with his free hand. "I really miss her."

Jefferson slowly laced his fingers with Hamilton's. He blushed. Hamilton pulled away from Jefferson a little and looked up at him. Jefferson wiped away Hamilton's tears. "I'm glad you talked to me," he smiled. Hamilton gave him a light smile before breaking into a sob and resting his head on Jefferson's shoulder again.

_______________

A few days later, Hamilton woke up to a sheet of white outside and a string of white lights lining the walls of his bedroom. Then he remembered.

It was Christmas.

Hamilton smiled and hurried out of bed. Jefferson was already awake. "Merry Christmas," Jefferson smiled, handing Hamilton a mug of hot cocoa.

"What are we doing today?" Hamilton asked.

"Well, we're snowed in. I was thinking we watch movies all day, whatever you want to watch. We can have pancakes, order sushi and pizza. Or we can go to the library downstairs. Anything inside," Jefferson said as they sat on the couch. Hamilton smiled.

A flash of the party came back to him.

"You know you want this," Hamilton said, kissing Jefferson again.

Hamilton closed his eyes and remembered it again. It was blurry, but he was kissing a guy with a fluffy afro. Then he looked at Jefferson and gasped. Was the guy he was kissing Jefferson?

Jefferson looked at Hamilton longingly. He still couldn't believe Hamilton didn't remember that night of the party. He blinked tears away. "Hey," he said, his voice cracking. "I'll be right back." He rushed to his bedroom and shut the door. A sob escaped from his mouth as he shuddered and lied on his bed.

Hamilton slowly opened the door as Jefferson wiped his tears away. "Are you okay?" Hamilton asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Hamilton, I'm fine. Let's just go watch the movie!" Jefferson smiled and quickly whooshed past Hamilton.

Soon, their sushi came for lunch. Hamilton placed the California and avocado rolls on two plates for them to share. Jefferson leaves for a moment to go to the bathroom. Hamilton got another flash from the party.

"Maybe we can try this out, because I like you."

Hamilton gasped. He saw the same afro he saw in his previous memory. Did he tell Jefferson he liked him? And what did he mean by "maybe we can try this out?" Jefferson came back and sat on the couch. Hamilton snapped back to reality and handed a plate to Jefferson.

"Thanks, Hamilton," Jefferson grinned. Hamilton sat next to Jefferson as Jefferson put a blanket across their laps. He un-paused Jaws. Hamilton loved this movie, but Jefferson hated horror movies. It just made Hamilton long for Jefferson more knowing he would do anything for him. Then another flash came.

"Then why did you kiss me?" Hamilton asked. Jefferson sat next to Hamilton.

"Because I like you." Hamilton's eyes widened. "I-I've always... liked you. I just didn't want you to know, so I've been mean to you. I just want to say I'm sorry."

Hamilton kissed Jefferson again. "It's okay," Hamilton said. "Maybe we can try this out, because I like you, too." Jefferson smiled as Hamilton fell asleep in Jefferson's lap. And soon, Jefferson fell asleep, too.

Hamilton remembered everything. He looked at Jefferson. "What?" Jefferson chuckled. Hamilton didn't even realize it, but he had kissed him. Jefferson's jaw dropped as Hamilton pulled back. "Y-You remember?"

Hamilton nodded. Jefferson smiled and kissed Hamilton again. Neither of them had been that happy in a while. Hamilton sat on Jefferson's lap and kept kissing him. Everything around them seemed to turn into a blob. They only cared about where they were then. Hamilton pulled back and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm really happy... Alexander," Jefferson hesitated. Hamilton chuckled.

"Me too, Thomas." He got off Jefferson's lap and they started eating their sushi. He happily whispered, "Me too."