The Marionette • Chuuya X Reader

41: Snowfall

A/N: *Nsfw warning ahead.

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"[f/n]...not like this." Chuuya lets go of the light hold he had on you, stepping back himself and running a hand through his red hair in discomfort when you look at him with deep sadness, your hair falling over your face as you move your gaze and stare at the ground dizzy, mind buzzing as you try to hold yourself together, nausea beginning to form caused by the anxiety of failing again creating bad butterflies in your stomach.

"I don't even need to be sober. You're all that's in my head anyways. What do you need me to say or do? I don't know how to love someone properly, I don't know what the right thing is...but you know that already because it's all I've shown..." You become desperate in your talking, the way you long for the man in front of you overwhelming your whole being, the alcohol slurring your words and making everything feel like a blurry, unpleasant dream. All you are truly sure of now as the music plays in this party hall and winter closes in, is that if you don't act, everything will fall apart and you'll have nothing left.

At least, that's how it feels.

"...I'm so sorry." You whisper when Chuuya looks away from you, scanning the room, fervent in embittering thought.

"We can't stay here if you're going to keep begging like this, you're going to do something you regret." He then finally states, beckoning you to follow him out of the party hall, leaving you to drunkenly trail after him and exit the hall with one last sad look at all the fancy outfits and light laughter of the mafia; the music that was a waltz turning in to a sorrowful, wistful tune as you close the door out behind you, feeling as if you had forgotten a wish made long ago.

Permanently turning away from the lost melodies of the party, you gaze to Chuuya in front of you now, the corridors lit by a soft moonlight that had peaked through the winter clouds, the blue of his suit looking like that of the deepest parts of the ocean while his eyes glitter like sapphires, his bright hair falling around his face just the way you had memorized it to be, the only thing displeasing about the image in front of you being his expression of anger and loss directed towards you, fighting a different emotion trying to break through you can't name.

It hurts you to see it.

"Chuuya..."

"You always do the same damn thing you know that?"

"I know."

"So then why would you-"

"Because I was trying to take care of myself too. You are beautiful, Chuuya, you are everything good I never thought I deserved, but you will never know what I have had to feel. I didn't want to include you out of fear that you'd leave me too. I'm not even sure of what we are." You have difficulty talking, part of you still in another dimension as you try to put your own feelings into sad, drunken words.

"[f/n]...I can't shake the doubt that you did something with-"

"Wait." You suddenly interrupt him, spots of white catching your eyes from the window, surprise overriding the tension of the moment, your eyes growing wide with intoxicated excitement as you let out a small gasp when you see snowflakes dancing in the outside wind.

"It's snowing...it's the first snowfall of the year- I have to go outside!" You blurt out, placing a hand on his fore arm to steady yourself, holding him tightly; your touch coming as a surprise to him.

"Are you serious right now?"

Looking back at him, maybe it's the way your face had lighten up like he had never seen it before, or the way the light had hit your face at that moment, your figure being enhanced by the kimono given to you as it swayed with your uneven movement, face slightly red from all the alcohol you drank and your hair swinging with you, but to Chuuya, the world had suddenly slowed down, his heart squeezing at your pleading statement when for just a few seconds you looked like you have no other worries in the world, eyes glittering with hope when a moment ago you had seemed so devastated. He didn't want to take that away from you as much as he only wanted to talk.