TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

TWENTY-ONE

'How is he?' James asks when Gerard joins him in the waiting room.

'The doctors need to check on him,' he says, though his mind seems to be far away. 'But at least he woke up.' There's a long silence, and Gerard wants to cry, but he knows Frank needs him being strong. So he takes a deep breath, and tries to change the subject. 'So what's gonna happen with the tour, and the album?'

'The rest of the bands played the last show today. But for now I'm guessing it's the last of Death Spells.'

'I'm sorry. You were so excited about this project.'

'But my friend is more important. And I'm sure we'll figure something out.'

'Didn't Frank sign a contract? They're not – I mean –'

'I'm sure they'll understand. Besides since he signed last minute, he was just credited as guest vocalist.' He pauses. Gerard seems to be somewhere else, which is understandable. 'He'll be okay. He's a strong motherfucker, and he has you this time.'

Gerard nods. He won't leave him.

And just then, he hears a familiar voice approaching. 'Gerard?' It's Linda. He runs to her and hugs her. 'How is he?'

'He's better. He just woke up, and the doctors are checking on him.'

She nods, taking the information in, but still looks worried. Then she remembers about the man to her right. 'This is Cheech, Frankie's dad.'

He's heard about him, and he wishes he had met him in a different situation, but there's nothing he can do. 'Nice to meet you. I'm Gerard, Frank's fiancé.'

'Fiancé?' Linda asked surprised.

Shit. He thought Frank had told them. 'Yeah – I thought he –' But there's no point celebrating when Frank is in there puking his brains out. All he can do is let Linda hug him.

'He was right,' she whispers. 'He knew this would happen. And we didn't listen.'

'He'll be okay.' Gerard really needs to believe that.

Soon enough, they let them in to see Frank, and Gerard tells his parents to go in. He needs to talk to the doctor. 'So, how is he?'

'He's stable. We need to monitor his heart, and we'll have the test results tomorrow morning.' He makes a pause, and turns to Gerard with a serious look on his face. 'We don't have a the results yet, but he had an overdose of a variety of opioids mixed with alcohol. He could have died. If they had found him a minute or two later, he could have had a cardiac arrest and that would be the end of it.' Gerard just nods, unable to hold in the tears anymore. He can't imagine how different his life would be if it wasn't for that two- minute difference. 'The thing is, he does have an history of addiction and mental health problems, and we don't want to assume anything, but – this could be a suicide attempt.'

Gerard had thought about it. But hearing it, breaks his heart. He nods.

'He's going to be on suicide watch, and we could transfer him to a mental facility after that.'

'Can I talk to him first?' Gerard asks, already sobbing.

'Yeah. He still needs to stay here a couple more days. You have time to decide.'

'Thank you.' This is going to be harder than he thought.

****

Frank has been sleeping all day, only waking up to throw up, and cry in pain.

Linda won't leave his side, so Gerard has to get her something to eat, and Cheech follows him to the cafeteria. 'How long have you been dating?' he asks as they wait for their coffees.

'Almost a year.' He can't believe how fast time goes by.

'And you're already engaged?'

'When you know, you know.'

That seems to be enough for Cheech. 'He did tell me about you. He said he had never felt this way before and he wanted to be good enough for you.'

Gerard nods. Of course he is, more than enough. He's way out of his league. 'Your son is the best thing that happened to me.'

'Me too. So please don't break his heart.'

'I won't. I promise.'

When they get back to the room, Frank is awake, talking to his mom. Or at least trying. He seems to be in pain. He pats the bed so Gerard sits next to him, and as soon as he does, Frank snuggles up next to him, and starts falling asleep again.

Another day passes and Cheech convinces Linda to use the hotel room Gerard booked for them to get some sleep. 'He'll take care of Frankie, okay?'

When they finally leave, Gerard tells Frank they need to talk. He lies in bed next to Frank, stroking his hair, wiping his face. 'I was talking to the doctor – he said you took a lot of pills?' Frank nods, knowing where this is going. 'Was it accidental, or – you tried to kill yourself?'

The silence is enough response.

Followed by Frank wrapping his arms around him, and sobbing in his shoulder. 'I –,' he struggle to say between sobs. 'I slept with someone.'

Fuck, Gerard thought.

It just keeps getting worse and worse.

But he can't leave him now. Not like this. He promised him and his parents and James that he wouldn't leave. He would not be like his ex who left him when he most needed her. No. He'll stay, because that's what love means, and that's what the promise they made means. To be there for each other in moments like these even if your hearts breaks.

He knows Frank wouldn't have done it if he wasn't under the influence or going through what he was going through.

'I fucked up,' Frank continues. 'I was happy, and I had the life I always dreamed about. I had you. And I fucked it all up.' Gerard just listens, holding in the tears because he doesn't want to worry him. 'Then it was too late, and I knew you'd hate me for what I became, so it seemed easier to disappoint you more. I thought that if I cheated on you, you'd just leave me and forget about me. But I made it worse. And I just wanted everything to end.'

'Shh,' Gerard tries to comfort him.

'I'm scared, Gee.

'You'll be okay. I'm here, and I'm not leaving, okay?'

'You promise?'

'I promise.' He holds Frank tight against him, stroking his back. 'Frank, you need to get help.' He feels his fiancé nod against his shoulder. 'When we get home, you're going to rehab. And you'll get better, and I'll be there every single step of the way.'

'You promise.'

'I promise.