TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

THIRTY-FIVE

Raise my arms to the sky for once. I'm gold

Frank can't sleep.

The day has come.

He still hasn't figured out how he was able to find someone as perfect as Gerard, just when he felt like giving up. He found him and saved him.

Gerard made him feel again, but more than anything, he makes him want to be alive.

Even after all the shit he put him through. Even then.

He gives him a purpose, he believes in him in ways nobody else does, and makes him want to get better.

Frank will never be able to thank him for that.

And he's not sure he'll ever be able to tell him. Not in the right words anyway. No words would be enough to tell him how much he loves him, how grateful he is for having saved his life many times, for believing in him.

But he knows that if he tries, he'll choke or start sobbing.

So he does it the only way he's ever known.

He gets up from bed and walks to the office downstairs, and grabs his acoustic guitar.

Without even thinking, he starts playing until he finds a chord progression he likes, and then the words come out on their own.

And when everything's said, he just lets it out and starts sobbing because he never thought he'd get to be happy again.

***

Gerard finds him asleep on the fluffly rug in the office, with Lois by his side.

And for a second, he's scared.

Scared that he's back at it, that all the stress from going back to school, and the wedding and becoming dads is getting to him. that his anxiety is back and Gerard was so focused planning that he didn't even notice.

'Good morning, sleepy head,' he says stroking his hair, causing Frank to jump off the floor.

'Shit! I fell asleep! What time is it?'

'Seven thirty.'

Frank wipes his eyes with the heels of his hands, letting out a groan. 'I couldn't sleep last night, and I didn't want to wake you up, so I came here to play guitar for a little bit and then the dogs joined and we fell asleep.'

'It's okay, honey. I just want to make sure you're okay.'

He looks straight into Gerard's eyes and smiles. 'Never been better.

'You wanna go take the dogs for a walk one last time before getting married?' Gerard asks, and Frank doesn't even reply, just gets up and pulls him to the front door.

They each take one of the dogs, and head out, holding hands. Out of nowhere, Frank asks, 'You ever thought that day we met, one day we'd be getting married?'

Gerard laughs. 'Never.'

They reach the park, and sit on their usual spot. Some people wave at them when they see them, which is weird for both since neither of them was very social with their neighbors before, but Gerard thinks they're now the gay neighborly couple. Which they don't really mind. All that matters is that they're both happy and healthy and they have each other, and they'll be a family soon. They make a list of the things they have to do before the ceremony, the people they have to call to make sure everything's in order. 'So – let's go and get married,' Frank says, and they walk back home, still feeling like that first day they went to the park together.