TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

THREE

As promised – or maybe out of habit – Frank makes it to Gerard's porch the following day just past seven in the morning. He couldn't even sleep thinking whether or not it was a date. No, it's not. It's just 2 grown up men sitting, having coffee together. Wait – isn't that kinda –? No.

So he needs the extra espresso.

He gets him a Venti Vanilla Latte again, since he was okay with it. And to his surprise, Gerard is waiting for him with a box of donuts. 'Are you for real?' Frank says, trying not so show he's blushing. 'You're going to make me lose my figure?'

'Oh, you look fine,' Gerard says casually, obviously regretting a second later.

Did – did he just say he looks fine? Frank thinks, and now it's impossible to shake off the thought as much as he wants to. 'Okay, I'll take one.' He sits next to him, and eats in silence. He was going to eat one regardless, but now his mind can't stop.

Fortunately Gerard starts a conversation immediately, even though he said he wasn't a social person. 'So did your meeting go well?' he asks. Frank is confused for a second, so Gerard continues. 'You said you had a meeting yesterday, and you were late.'

'Oh yeah. It's an AA meeting.'

'AA, as in Alcoholics Anonymous?' Frank nods. 'Huh.'

'Is that – okay?' Frank didn't know why he was being so honest with him.

'Yeah, why wouldn't it be? I like that.' Gerard smiles, and Frank can swear the world stops. He takes a sip of coffee to hide his big grin before it gives him away. 'So, what do you do for a living, then?'

'I work at Olive Garden as a server.'

'Nice. You get free breadsticks?'

'Sometimes, if there's any at the end of the day.' He likes Gerard's excitement because of fucking breadsticks. 'And you?'

'Oh I'm a writer.'

'Thanks for making me feel shitty.'

'What? Why?' Gerard asks laughing. 'Your job is just as valid. Even more. You're providing food to people's tables? You're a functioning member of society. I'm just a weirdo who lives by himself and never goes out.'

'It was cooler when I thought you were a wizard.' They laugh, looking at each other, and Frank can't help wondering if he feels the same way. But whatever this is, he's glad to have someone to talk to.

The next morning, they do the same thing, and the following. Then, on his day off, Lois wakes him up excited, as if she knew they're going to the park. 'C'mon, girl!,' he says, opening the back door.

It's a nice day today. It's not cold, so he doesn't have to wear a hoodie anymore. And as he expected, when he walks to Gerard's house, he's already waiting for him. 'Hey, man,' he says, still by the sidewalk. He's nervous as fuck, so he hopes Gerard can't see it from there. He knows the question he's about to ask isn't a big deal. It's stupid he's even nervous. But still. He takes a deep breath, and just says it. 'We're going to the park. You wanna come?'

Silence.

More silence.

He sees how Gerard's expression changes from a smile to a frown, and he hates himself for causing it. He knows Gerard is more introverted, and being a writer, he probably hates people or being around others. He doesn't know. But he might have just ruined the one good thing he had. And then, he looks up from Lois, and is surprised when Gerard in fact gets up and starts approaching, even though he still looks a little nervous about leaving his house. 'Sure.'

A big smile forms in Frank's face that it's impossible to hide. It's nothing out of the ordinary, just two dudes taking the dog to the park, Frank tells himself. If people want to think otherwise, let them. 'We can get coffees on our way there.'

Gerard gives him a shy smile when he's in front of him. 'I like the tattoos.'

'Thanks.' Frank lets him walk Lois, and he seems to enjoy it. They make it to the coffee shop, and order at the window. Frank tells him to order whatever he wants.

'I'd like a venti strawberries and creme frappuccino, double shot, please,' Gerard tells the girl behind the counter.

'Now I know what to order next time,' Frank mumbles to himself. 'Wait – you're an expert at this. I thought you didn't go out of your house.' He pays with his phone, and then they wait by the shade.

'I don't. Not a lot lately. But I used to come here more often to write. And once every couple months I go visit my brother and his family, so I'm forced to go whatever they wanna go.'

'Can I ask why –?'

'You already did,' Gerard answers. 'But it's cool. It's just my anxiety got pretty bad, and thanks to my job, I don't really have a need to go outside, so I just don't. My brother sometimes helps me with groceries, or my friend.'

Frank can't help getting a little jealous when he mentions a friend, even though they're just that, friends. The girl calls their names, interrupting the conversation, and Frank runs to get their order. 'Good luck with your date,' Emily, the barista, whispers when she hands him the drinks. He's a regular, so she was surprised to see him walk in with someone else.

'It's not a date,' he whispers back.

'Well, tell him that.'

Blood leaves Frank's face, going completely pale as he walks back to the table. What did she mean? 'Shall we?'

They cross the street to the local park, and find a bench right under a big oak tree, providing some shade. Frank asks him about what kind of books does he write – comic books, and some horror –, whether he has cats – yes, two. Lotion and Susan –, and whether he prefers vampires or zombies – vampires.

There's a long silence, when they don't talk. Frank knows this looks exactly like a date, but he doesn't want to make any assumptions. He doesn't even know if Gerard likes men or what, let alone if he likes him. And he still feels kinda ridiculous being thirty-eight and acting like he's thirteen. But their hands are almost touching while resting on the bench, and he can't stop looking at them, almost giggling. And he knows Gerard hasn't moved his for the same reason. He sees him smiling too, and it's driving him wild.

And just then, Gerard's pinky reaches for Frank's. Their pinkies are interlaced! Frank wants to scream, but holds it in. Yet, he can't hide the smile. But he understands.

It reminds him of his first boyfriend back in high school, and not ready to be out, so they had to do shit like this. And he feels just the same.

He turns to him and they're both smiling at each other, blushing, just like teenagers.

Frank hasn't been this happier in a while. And he wishes he could kiss him, right there, in front of everyone. He wishes he could hold his hand on their way back. But he respects Gerard, and if he wants to go slow, they'll go slow.

They don't say a single word on their way back to Gerard's house, just smile at each other. The butterflies in Frank's stomach won't shut up though.

They stop when they reach Gerard's porch, and Frank wants to kiss him goodbye, and it's so hard to resist the urge. But he also wants it to be special. But they don't know how to say goodbye now. 'So –,' they say in unison, and laughing nervously after.

'You wanna come over later?' Gerard asks, just like that, looking straight at Frank.

Yes, I'd go anywhere with you, Frank thinks. He tries to speak up, but nothing comes out, so he just nods, biting his lip.

'Eight is okay?' Frank nods. 'I'll wait for you, then.' They wave each other goodbye, smiling like stupid, and Gerard walks back in. When Frank is far enough, he starts skipping home, screaming in celebration.