TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

FORTY-TWO

Gerard has never felt this kind of love, and he thought he'd never get to experience that. But holding his daughter, he's never been happier.

And he can't understand how, even though they're not related by blood, she's a part of him now, just like Dylan, who's now in Frank's arms while they both cry. He would die for them. 'Hi, princess,' he says, his voice breaking. He knows that it's going to be scary, and he's not sure if he'll be able to do it, but he'll try his best.

They've taken them to a separate room, where they can be with them for a little bit without bothering Kaya, who makes it clear that she doesn't want to hold them.

When he looks up, his husband is standing there, and he looks so good in this new phase, as if it was possible for him to get hotter. 'Look at you,' Gerard says. 'Looking like a total DILF.'

'Have more respect for our children,' Frank joked. 'And have you looked at yourself in the mirror. If someone is a DILF here, it's you, sir.' They both smile, and Gerard pulls him for a kiss with his free hand. 'We're dads.'

'Yeah.'

They soon take the babies away to clean them up and their checkup. Frank and Gerard join their families in the waiting room, who all welcome them with balloons and flowers. Frank cries in his mom's shoulder, and Gerard's dad offers him a cigar.

'How are they?' Mikey asks.

'Perfect!' Frank starts, too excited. 'They're so – beautiful!'

They have to be forced to eat something. 'Your kids need you strong, hun,' Donna tells them, and they have no choice.

And while everyone is talking, Gerard goes to check on Kaya, who's resting in her room, while her sister talks to their parents on the phone. 'Hey, can I come in?' he asks.

Kaya nods, and lets him sit next to her. 'How are they?'

'Beautiful.' He's trying hard not to cry again, but there's no point. 'How are you?'

'Tired. I wanna go home.'

'I understand.' There's a pause, and he played with his wedding band. 'I just wanted to thank you. You made us so happy.'

'I'm glad. They'll be so lucky.' They both laughed. 'I saw your face when the girl was born, and I knew I'd never feel like that. You are both so great and so full with love and patience.'

'You want to meet them?' Gerard asks, and she shakes her head.

'It's better this way. I don't think I can –' She pauses. 'We were just talking about that. I'm moving with my dad to Florida. Keep some distance, you know.'

Gerard nods.

'I know Frank won't take it well, but it's for everyone's sake. I need to stay clean too.'

'I know.'

'Can you tell him I'm proud of how far he's come?'

'I will. And I have to thank you for that too.'

'No, he's done it all himself. He really wants to make you proud, and you were the reason he got better.'

That's a lot to take in for Gerard. As much as Frank has told him already, and that maybe he knows he helped, it's still a lot. 'You know? I haven't told this to anyone, not even Frank.' The girl smiles at him. 'I tried to off myself a few years ago.' The air changes completely, and he's getting anxious, yet he continues. 'It got so bad, and I was so fucking miserable. I thought I'd never find someone or have a family, or that my career would fail. I never thought I'd have kids or a family. Even after I got better, if you call that better, it was still pretty bad, and I felt hopeless. Then I met Frank. And it was like all these things that I thought were impossible for me, just started to happen.' He can't even finish and just starts sobbing, Kaya embracing him to comfort him. 'I can't believe I get to go home with my husband and my kids.'

'You are, and I'm so proud of you.'

'Thank you.'

***

Next morning, they meet with a social worker and someone from the agency to sign the adoption papers and birth certificate.

Someone leads them to the nursery, where they can see all the newborn babies behind the window. In the front row, they see two babies sleeping peacefully, with the last name Iero-Way on their tags.

They're let inside, where a nurse wraps the babies in blankets and lets them take them. 'Congratulations,' she says. 'They are perfectly healthy, and you can take them home in a day or two.'

That same night, they introduced them to the rest of the family, who can't get over them, and Frank is still crying.

'You are doing great, my love,' Gerard assures him. 'You were born to do this.'

Still, the next day they go through a crash course, and a nurse teaches them how to feed them, what formulas are better for babies who can't get breastfed, and how to change a diaper. They check a list of the things they need before taking them home. Frank seems to be doing surprisingly fine, born to be a dad, like Gerard said, but he's the one freaking out. 'What if I can do this?' he says, having a panic attack.

'You've been doing fine these past couple of days.'

'Yeah, but at home, by myself. When you're at school or working. I don't know if I can.'

'Babe – I know it's scary, but you can do it.'

Gerard nods, and follows Frank's breathing pattern until he calms down.

'Besides, Emi only falls asleep when she's in your arms, so I'm gonna need you.' That makes the older man laugh. 'I think she's going to be a daddy's girl.'

'Well – technically – since we're both –'

'You're right.' Frank kisses him. 'I love you.'

'I love you.' Then, Gerard sits down with Emi in his arms, looking at his husband on the other side of the tiny room, singing to Dylan. You are my sunshine, my own sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray... And he thinks maybe they'll be alright.

After a last checkup, they're told they can go home.

Frank already picked their outfits and blankets. And he makes sure they're safe in their seats before walking out.

Gerard is too anxious to drive, so Frank has no choice. He drives slow and careful, making sure their children are okay every two seconds. What would have been fifteen minutes from the hospital to their house turns out to be thirty minutes of fuzzy babies crying. He doesn't even turn the stereo, but it gets too quiet.

'This is your home, kids,' Frank says to the babies as if they could understand, and follows Gerard inside. The house is quiet since the pets are still at Mikey's.

Frank immediately checks their diapers, already a pro, Gerard thinks. And as soon as the babies are in their arms, they fall asleep, already knowing they're safe and okay with their parents. They don't say anything, just share a look and smile. Gerard has everything he ever dreamed of, and he's the happiest he's ever been.