TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

THIRTEEN

Frank has been packing all morning, going from one room to the next, looking for an specific shirt. He's only been living with Gerard for four months now, yet there were traces of him everywhere. 'Gee – baby –,' he sits next to Gerard in bed. 'Have you seen my brown cardigan?'

'No,' Gerard says, his eyes glued to the laptop. 'Have you checked the washing machine?'

'You're right!' And then he's off the laundry room downstairs, where effectively, said brown cardigan has been all this time.

'I'm done,' he says, closing the last of his suitcases. 'I think that's enough for two months, isn't it?'

'That's a lot for two months.'

'But then again, you wear the same shirt for a whole week,' Frank says and joins Gerard in bed, and then kisses him. 'But I love that about you.'

'Well, I wear whatever I'm comfortable in.'

'And you look fucking hot in it.' He kisses his neck, trying to distract him from writing. 'Can you stop for a minute? I'm leaving tomorrow, I want you just for me. Just one day.'

'I guess you win.' Gerard puts the laptop away, and pulls Frank so he's on top of him. 'Is it too late to say don't go?'

'No, just say it and I'll call James.'

'No – don't.' Gerard caresses the side of Frank's face with his thumb, and lets his fingers run through his hair. 'I'm so proud of you.'

That causes Frank to smile.

'I'm serious. Should I tell everyone I'm fucking a music producer?'

'So this is what it is?'

'I'm kidding. Or am I?'

Their make out session is interrupted by Lois being hungry, and Frank knowing he won't see her in a while, gets up and takes her to the kitchen.

They don't do a lot for the rest of the day, other than cuddle in front of the TV or eating snacks and talking. 'So – you never told me you're also a producer,' Gerard says.

'That's because I'm not. I helped James and my old band when we were recording, and learned a lot, but nothing like official. But I guess he trusts me.'

'That's sweet.'

'I guess. But I feel he was also trying to get me back into playing and all that.'

'That's nice of him.' He stares at Frank for a while. 'And this guy James,' Gerard asks. 'You're going to stay with him for these two months?'

'Are you jealous?' Frank can't help smiling.

'I'm just asking, okay!'

'Well, yeah – he's one of my best friends, and I actually lived with him in LA for a while. But it's nothing like that. You have nothing to worry about.'

'I'm not worrying.' He feeds a popcorn to Frank. 'Not about that, though. For a moment I did worry about all the people you're going to be around, how there's going to be hot girls and guys everywhere, and you're going to forget about me.'

'Are you fucking kidding me?!' Gerard is blushing, not daring to look up at Frank. 'First of all – have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I'm lucky I'm with you! You're like, a sex god!' Gerard laughs. 'I'm not kidding, Gerard! I mean it. You're the hottest guy, and I don't just say it because I love you.'

'Stop it!'

'I won't until you see what I see.' Frank then reaches for his hand, his fingers interlacing between Gerard's. 'Second of all – you really think I'm that kind of guy? That I just see someone attractive and forget my heart belongs to someone already?'

Gerard shakes his head.

'Good. Because the only thing I'll be thinking about will be coming home to you.'

'But please, promise me you'll have a good time.'

'I will.'

After dinner, Frank calls James to make sure he has all the info he needs, and whether he got the emails. And then his parents to let them know he's leaving. His mom sounds happy, and tells him he still has to call her every day, and to take care, which makes Frank cry. When he calls his dad, it gets more technical, talking about music stuff, which Frank appreciates. 'You're going to do great, boy,' he says. 'I'm so proud of you and what you've accomplished. And when you come home, you better introduce me to that boy Gerard, because I need to thank him for taking care of you.'

Frank laughs, tears rolling down his cheeks. 'Thanks, dad.'

When he hangs up, he takes a cigarette, and sits in the swing chair, taking it all in. Appreciate the life he has. Gerard, Lois, his parents, his new job and possibly a new opportunity to get back in the scene. Gerard.

He knows none of this would be happening without him. He would have given up long ago if it wasn't for him. He knows he wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for Gerard. Probably not even alive.

And as if he'd summoned him, Gerard steps out in the patio, and sees Frank. 'Is – everything okay?'

Frank nods, and as soon as Gerard sits next to him, he cuddles into his shoulder, and hugs him. 'Too perfect,' he says. 'So perfect that I don't want to ever leave.'

Gerard strokes his hair, comforting him. 'Don't say that.'

'I know I have to, but I'm gonna miss this.'

'I'm gonna miss you too.'

'I'm gonna miss sexy time every morning.' That makes Gerard laugh. 'But I'm gonna miss having you right next to me when I feel like shit.'

'You can call me anytime you do.'

'I will.' Frank is still holding tight to Gerard, resting his head in his shoulder, taking in his smell so he can remember it for the next couple months. 'I've never been this happy,' he mumbles.  'And I'm scared of leaving. You make me feel so safe.'

'I'm glad, and the feeling is mutual.'

Then, Frank pulls apart and looks at Gerard in the eyes. 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It's the only thing I'm sure of.' He cups the side of his face with his hand, caressing his cheek with his thumb. 'And knowing that I'll come home to you, is the only thing that keeps me going. So it would mean the world to me if you accept to be with me the rest of your life.'

'Frank – is this a –'

'You know it is. So just say yes or no so I know what to do.'

'You know the answer.' He just leans in to kiss him, and wraps an arm around him to pull him closer. 'Absolutely yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' Frank starts laugh crying, and kisses him again.

Frank's flight is supposed to depart at eight in the morning, so they make it to the airport before six. They check in his luggage, and go for a coffee. Frank can't stop shaking, nervous because how his life is about to change again, and because Gerard's not going to be around, and he hates that. 'Remember Lois' vet appointment is next week,' he says. 'And that she's supposed to be on a diet, so only the special food.'

'I know.'

Frank hugs Gerard for the next ten minutes, and doesn't want to let go of him, but he should be getting to his gate by now. 'Are you sure you're going to be okay?' Gerard asks. 'You have your anxiety meds?'

'I'm fine!' Frank says, even though he's crying.

'I can get a ticket and go with you this instant.'

'I'll be okay. I'm a big boy, now.' They both laugh, squeezing each other's hands tight. 'I'm going to miss you.'

'Me too.'

'I'll call you as soon as I get there.'

'I'll be waiting.' He kisses him again. Gerard doesn't even think about it anymore, kissing in front of people or any form of PDA. Not with Frank. He's safe with him, he knows that, there shouldn't be anything to be scared of. 'Take care, okay?'

'You too. I love you.'

'I love you.' They kiss one last time, and then Frank walks to the gate, off to LA. Gerard is so proud of him, but now he's starting to miss him.