TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

TWELVE

When Gerard opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Frank, already awake, looking at him. 'Good morning,' Frank says.

He looks tired, and sad. That breaks Gerard's heart.

Frank is always smiling, happy about something, even the smallest thing. At least, that's the Frank that he knows. 'Good morning.' He runs his thumb up and down Frank's face, pulling him closer, and placing a kiss on his forehead. 'You know you have all my support, and I couldn't be happier for you.'

'Thank you.' Frank is hugging him tight. They didn't say a lot last night. Every time Gerard tried to talk about it, he would tell him to stop and begged to make out. 'I couldn't sleep. I saw you, and thinking about not waking up next to you for the next couple months will be unbearable. I don't know if I want that.'

'But it's your dream.'

'Not anymore. You are my dream.'

Gerard kisses him. 'While I love your cheesiness, and waking up next to you more than anything, please consider this. I'll still be here. There are ways to be in touch. Who knows? Maybe I'll be visiting soon.'

Frank leans in his shoulder, and starts sobbing. 'But you don't get it. I'm happy where I'm at. The happiest I've ever been. I don't want anything else.'

'And me too.' He takes Frank's face between his hands and holds it close to his own face. 'And trust me when I say I'm gonna love you no matter what, even if you work at Olive Garden, or you're a producer, or whatever the fuck you decide to do. But you are so much more than a server, and I just want to see you happy and living your dream.' Frank mumbles something, but Gerard has no idea what it is, so he just kisses him. 'Now let's eat something.'

They both head to the kitchen, and Frank helps him find all the ingredients for pancakes, while Gerard starts a pot of coffee. While Gerard makes the pancakes, Franks hugs him, resting his head on his shoulder.

When Linda wakes up, the table is set. 'You guys already up?' she asks.

'We're early birds, ma',' Frank says, still hugging Gerard.

'You were never one, honey. What happened?'

'An annoying dog that wakes me up when she gets hungry.'

'Speaking of that dog,' Gerard interrupts. 'I'm going to take her outside so she goes potty.' He shoots a look at Frank before he mentions they already took her outside. 'You should start  getting yourselves coffee or something.'

Now it's just Frank and his mom. That's what Gerard wanted.

They do need to talk.

He grabs two mugs from the cupboard, and serves coffee for himself and his mom. 'So –,' he says, and then takes a second to think what he's going to say. 'Last night, James called me – he wants me to go to LA and produce an album for him –'

Linda doesn't wait to hear the rest. She hugs him, all excited. 'I'm so happy for you, my dear! It was about time you did what you love again.'

'Thanks, mom.' He pauses. 'The thing is – I don't know if I'm going to go.'

'But –'

'I've never been so in love as I am right now. I don't want to ruin it and leave the best thing that's ever happened to me for a job that will lasts me a couple months.'

'Honey!' She reaches out to him, wiping off his tears. 'I know. I could see it the moment I saw you together. It's clear how happy he makes you.' Frank nods. 'And I'm also sure he told you to go ahead and do it.'

'Yeah.'

'He loves you too, and he wants to see you happy.'

'I know.' Then why was Frank feeling so miserable? 'I don't know if I'll be able to do it without him,' he admits in tears. 'He's kept me sane for this past couple months, forcing myself to stay clean. But I'm scared once I get back, I'll go back to my old habits.'

'No – you're stronger than you think.'

She hugs her son tight, comforting him, and that's when Gerard comes back in. Without saying anything, he runs to Frank and puts his arms around him, letting him cry on his shoulder. 'I'm scared,' Frank cries.

'It's going to be okay.'

Linda serves everyone breakfast while Gerard comforts Frank, and then they sit at the table, and eat mostly in silence. 'Thank you for taking care of my Frankie,' Linda tells Gerard.

'Oh – he takes care of me just as much.' Frank smiles at that.

'You don't know how happy it makes me that he found you.'

'Me too.'

They leave soon after, and Frank promises his mom to call more often. 'And please tell me you're taking the job.'

'I'll think about it.'

The drive home is quiet, and Gerard gives Frank some space, just holding his hand.

He goes to work as normal, though his mind is going crazy, knowing he shouldn't be serving tables, but also terrified of going back to the business that made him an addict.

He knows now it's different. He has Gerard. Gerard makes him strong, makes him believe in himself. Makes him feel safe. And gives him a purpose, to go back home to the man he loves. He knows Gerard will never let it happen again.

When he gets home, he goes straight to the couch next to Gerard, and hugs him. 'I'm taking it,' he says.

Gerard kisses him, and puts an arm around him. 'I'm glad.'

'Just promise me something –' Frank sits up and looks at him. 'Don't let me become what I used to be.'

'Okay.'