TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

TWENTY-FIVE

'Good morning, sunshine,' Gerard says, as he sees Frank coming down the stairs just past noon.

'Hi,' is the only thing Frank says, his hair all messy and his eyes barely open. Gerard wraps his arms around him in a hug.

It's his first day off after he started working, and Gerard plans on spending it together to keep him busy. 'Let's make breakfast.' They choose to make toast with scramble eggs with avocado, and as Gerard cuts the cilantro and tomato, Frank was in charge of the eggs, while listening to music and singing to every song.

Then out of nowhere, Gerard comes from behind and hugs him, kissing his earlobe, causing the younger man to giggle. 'You're gonna make me burn the house down,' he says.

'I'm not doing anything.'

'You're distracting me.' He turns off the stuff, and moves the pan to another burner, before turning around and grabbing Gerard by the waist, pulling him for a kiss. 'You wanna dance, huh?'

Gerard nods.

'Let's dance, then.' The song playing isn't the best to dance to, yet, they spin around, jump and slow dance to it. Then, Gerard's hands slip under Frank's shirt, and he loses it. They haven't been intimate in so long that a simple touch of his hands has him gasping and nuzzling his neck. As his hands go up, Frank kisses him, biting his lower lip and pushing him backwards until they hit the counter.

He kisses his jaw, his neck and collarbone, paying special attention to that bit of skin between his shoulder and his neck. 'Fuck, I missed you so much,' he says and keeps kissing him.

'Frank – the food – it's gonna get cold.'

'Fuck the food.'

And they're off to the couch, taking off their clothes and hands running down each other's skin. Their bodies cling to each other, sweat sticking to their chest. Frank is a moaning mess under Gerard. He knows how to treat him right, how to make everything better.

He's warm and shaking from his orgasm, letting his head fall on the cushion, as Gerard lies his head on his tattooed chest. 'This is better than any drug,' he says casually, but his fiancé doesn't like the joke, earning him a slap on the arm. 'Ouch, what? I'm serious. I could get high off of this feeling.'

'It's too soon.'

'Okay. I get it.' They stay in that same position for a while, not moving, holding on to each other. 'I love you.'

***

After eating toast with cold eggs, they take a shower and go buy groceries as well as running some errands.

When they get back in the car, Frank's phone rings. 'Hello,' he answers.

'Frank?' the voice on the other side says.

Frank takes a second to recognize the voice. 'Kaya?' He hears a little laugh that proves his right. 'How are you?!'

'I just got out of rehab.'

'I'm glad! Where are you staying?'

'I'm with my older sister.' There's a long silence. 'I was calling you because – I'm supposed to sign for a support group, and I remember you mentioned something once, about AA –'

'I'm glad you asked for help.' Frank has a big proud smile on his face that melts Gerard's heart. 'You know I'm here for you. And what a coincidence that you called today, because we meet at four. You want me to send you the address, or we could pick you up?'

'I don't want to bother you. I'll meet you there.'

'Of course.'

'Thank you,' she says.

A couple hours later, he's arriving at the meeting, and finds Kaya serving herself a muffin from the refreshment table. She looks better. Wearing a long flowery dress and her hair in braids. He almost runs to hug her, and she hugs him back. 'It's so good to see you.'

'It's good to see you too. How you've been?' Frank asked.

'Better. Trying.'

'I get you. Me too.' He tells him about his job as stocker, and she talks about living with her sister. Soon the session starts and Lina welcomes her. Kaya mentions she just got out of rehab and that was where she met Frank, and that she wants to go to college to be a psychologist, like Frank. After the session, Lina talks to both of them, and suggests Frank be her sponsor. Kaya seems excited, but Frank has to fake a smile. 'You really think I can do this?' he asks when Kaya leaves. 'I just got out of rehab too.'

'She already trusts you. And she mentioned you majored in psychology? Why didn't you tell me?' He shrugs, since she doesn't even let him explain that he never finished it. 'I have a feeling you can do this.'

'Thanks,' he says but he's not that sure.

At home, he sits and watches TV with Gerard, and then they eat dinner outside. He mentions the sponsor thing to him, and Gerard seems happy that he's making enough progress to be considered a sponsor.

Gerard takes the plates to the sink and says he has to make some calls to his editor and the insurance, so Frank goes to the studio, not knowing what to do in the meantime.

The house is empty and his mind is loud, and there's a lonely guitar right in front of him screaming his name. He's terrified though. Terrified of it ruining his life again, despite his love for music.

But it pulls him like a magnet, and his fingers brush the neck and the strings, and maybe like his doctor told him when he was in rehab. He doesn't have to make music for anyone else. But he knows if he doesn't write a song soon he's going to explode.

He sits with it, and starts tuning it, already feeling the vibrations and the familiar sounds.

He has no idea what to create, he just plays with chords and riffs, and it feels so natural, and out of nowhere he has a progression. Then the lyrics come.

He lets it all out.

As if he's talking to Gerard, telling him not to worry about him.

I'm not sure what they say –