TONIGHT WE'RE GOLD

THIRTY-THREE

'So this is where it all happened?' Frank asks, laying next to Gerard in his basement bed.

'If you mean where I spent my childhood reading comic books, yes.'

'Aww that's so sweet!' He looks around the room, and finds the Star Wars action figures on the shelves, and takes one. 'Well, yeah, you're right. I forgot how big of a nerd you were.'

'Still am.'

'And that's why I love you.' Frank leaves the Princess Leia action figure on the shelf and goes back to bed. 'As long as you don't call our child Darth Vader.'

'And what are you going to call them? Danzig?'

Frank laughs hysterically. 'Okay, you got me. That was the plan. Now I'll have to find another name. Jersey?'

'Stop it! I don't know if you're serious or not.'

'I am!' He plants a kiss on the older man's face, and pulls him closer. 'You know what? I'd drag you to the court house tomorrow morning and marry you then, but you deserve the best wedding.'

'Don't lie, you want a cheesy wedding, too.'

Frank scrunches his face, denying it. 'I'm just doing it because of you.'

'I don't believe you for one second.'

'Fine! I do want a big gay wedding!'

'Me too!'

'You think we have enough time to plan it?' Frank asks. 'We can ask our moms.'

'I'd like it to be something more personal. Just us,' Gerard says with a smirk.

'What do you have in mind?'

'I don't know. I don't want a big wedding, just friends and family. People who have been there along the way.' He pauses and covers his face with his hands. 'You're gonna laugh at me, but I've kinda been planning a wedding since I was thirteen.'

'What?! That's so sweet!'

'No! It's weird, and embarrassing. Back then I didn't even think I'd ever get married.'

'And look at you! Future Mr. Iero!'

'Excuse me?!' he says, laughing. 'I thought you were going to get my last name, Mr. Way.'

'I like how it sounds, to be honest.'

'Anyway –,' Gerard continues. 'I already knew I liked boys, and I knew it was wrong. You know, catholic guilt. But back then, I guess I didn't think I could pretend to be straight. I thought I just had to hide it and not tell anyone else. So I'd make up stories for my own, stories where it wasn't wrong, and where I'd find my prince charming and we'd get married and live happily ever after.' He pauses, and it's obvious he's holding in the tears, so Frank reaches for his hand, and pulls him closer, and by then, Gerard is sobbing.

He's never seen him like this. It's usually him the one crying. And it hurts him.

'I just – sometimes I think about it. How that was the beginning of everything. My anxiety, my depression. My many suicide attempts.'

He had never talked about that, and Frank doesn't know how to take it. So he just holds him closer, because he knows how shitty that is. 'I'm so sorry, babe.'

'I'm fine now.' He leans in to kiss his future husband. 'You make everything better.'

'And I promise you, you'll have the wedding of your dreams.'

***