Bellarke One Shots Book 1

12) Say you love me

A/N not my story

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Clarke was tired. She had been wandering the forest with the remnants of the 100 for days. They had been short on food and Clarke could feel the hunger pains getting stronger every second.

In a way she was glad of it, it helped to cover up the other pain. Finn and Bellamy were dead. She was sure of that much. Octavia was probably dead. The only friends she had left seemed to be Monty, Raven and Jasper.

Although Jasper wasn't really talking much, not since he'd found out about Octavia.

Everyone seemed to be aching from some kind of loss and Clarke could feel their pain. It was evident in the way that they trudged through the forest, never really looking up and glaring at anyone who even tried to make a joke. She couldn't even bear to think about what Raven was feeling, after losing Finn like she had. She blamed Clarke of course, but Clarke never really expected anything different.

After all she blamed herself.

But there was one death that Clarke couldn't quite bear to think about, afraid that it might become real and she would have to face the fact that he really was dead.

Bellamy.

But she had closed the door on him, in an effort to protect the people in the ship but she knew she could have waited. Perhaps if she had given him a few minutes longer he'd have made it and she wouldn't be feeling quite as lost as she did now.

Because as much as she hated to admit it she needed him. She needed Bellamy Blake. He was her strength, her anchor. He was everything that she wasn't and she needed him by her side now more than ever.

They had stopped by a lake. A much needed break for everyone, including Clarke, who was sitting by herself. Hands lazily trailing in the water. She wasn't alone for long. Jasper came and sat down next to her. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to.

"I'm sorry." She started, "About Octavia. I know how you felt about her."

"Thank you." he sighed. "I'm sorry about Finn."

"Thanks." she said, before the silence took over again.

Minutes stretched by before he spoke again.

"I loved her. I love her. So much." his voice begins to break and Clarke awkwardly put an arm around him, pulling him into a hug. "It was always more than a crush, from the moment I saw her I knew it was different. But you know what?" he went on, "She never loved me. Not like that. It was always going to be him. After all how could I ever compete with a grounder?" He was crying now, tears streaming down his face and Clarke felt herself let go, let her own tears fall.

"Don't think like that. You mustn't think like that. Of course she loved you. Who wouldn't? You're adorable."

Jasper laughed through his tears, wiping his nose on his sleeve "Thanks I guess."

The silence came again but it was comfortable, wrapping them in its embrace and stretching on until the sun set and the moon rose.

"It was different with you and Bellamy." He says, finally, "You loved each other equally."

Clarke sat in shock. "What... what do you mean?"

"He loved you. Sometimes I think as much as he loved his sister. But he could never tell you that. I think he thought that you still loved Finn. Did you?"

Clarke was shocked by the bluntness of his statements, the idea that Bellamy loved her was … It hurt …. To think about what they could've had.

"I thought I did. At first. But everything was so new, there was so much emotion that night and everything got mixed up, but I didn't love Finn. Not like that."