Chapter 36: Defeated
"Aly, this is not the right time to be stubborn. Look at yourself, you look empty and messy!" I can't almost move away on my bed because I just want to bury myself on it, I just don't want to see the world anymore because of what is happening on me.
It's hard to swallow the truth that the person you loved only visited you with her soul, I can't feel any more as if this body is already buried on the ground. That woman is my world and you think I can get over her death?
"J-Just leave me alone..." my voice stuttered as I bury my head to my pillow and I can feel the heaviness of my eyes already with pain, my tears are not stopping this past nights and all I can do is to surrender myself on this unbearable pain.
They are all here and it's making me irritated, I can't shout on them anymore because I felt hopeless and voiceless already.
Can I just be with my woman?
Puwede bang sumama nalang ako sa kanya, dahil hindi ko na kasi kinakaya.
I heard my mom sighed and felt her sitting beside my bed "Aly..." malambing niyang tawag sa unti-unti ng namamatay niyang anak, why is she even doing here? Is she going to control me and will force me to stand up?
No, wala na akong lakas para gawin 'yun at gusto ko nalang lunurin ang sarili ko sa lahat. Ganito ba? Ganito ba ang naramdaman ni Sienna nung walang-wala at ubos na ubos na siya, kung tutuusin ay pareho lang kaming natalo.
Pareho kaming talo sa pag-ibig na ito.
"Bakit hindi mo naman sinabi na nangyayare na pala ito sa'yo limang taon na, why didn't you tell us son?" she asked with a heart-breaking tone the reason why I held the blanket tightly, kailangan ko pa bang sabihin kung lahat ay putangina na?
She caress my back with cold hands the reason why I shut my eyes and shook my head, puwede bang iwan nalang nila ako dahil wala naman silang maitutulong para bumangon ako sa kwarto na 'to.
"You've been experiencing this anxiety attacks for five years and you didn't tell me? Kung hindi sinabi sa akin ni Archielle ang lahat ay baka mabaliw ka na, bakit ka ba nag-kakaganito?" she's filling me with questions that I can't answer because I'm not in my sense, nababaliw na nga talaga ako.
"Y-You don't need to know because I know you'll be mad..." using the remaining strength that I have to answer a little on them, hindi naman nila ako maiintindihan dahil matagal ko itong nilihim sa kanila.
Supressed my all by fears and Sienna's presense still lingers here and it won't leave me alone the reason why it became heavy, the ambiance of my house is like an empty one without that woman.
"What is it? Bakit ako magagalit kung nakikita kitang nag-kakaganyan, ha? Hindi mo ba alam na doble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko kapag nasasaktan ka?" her worried tone is present and the mother that is cruel to others is gone when she's talking to her son.
She's pure and soft when it comes to her son, the way she felt my pain is unbelievable. My mom is cruel to others and I'm not going to deny it because even the woman that I loved also experienced my mom's cruel hands.
"Y-You just don't understand, mom... puwede bang iwan niyo nalang ako dahil wala kayong mapapala sa akin ngayon, I'm just so tired of my life already" I mumbled and trying to angle my body on the position that I want.
Everybody is seeing me weak and I don't have to pretend anymore, this pain is just too real. I'm seeing things that are not even through, Archi said that I lost touch with reality.
Will I blame this happening to you Sienna?
"It's that woman right? She's bothering you for almost five years the reason why you're experiencing this"
BINABASA MO ANG
Ruling The Senator's Son (High Class Issue Series #2)
Roman d'amour(Unedited) Archt. Alyster Emory Monreal, the senator's son and the bachelor of their company never thought that he will fall under the hands of Mariella Sienna Gallegos who is a sex worker, the first time he laid his eyes on the woman he kn...
