Teardrops in Daylight (Salvaje Caballero Series 3)

Cuarenta y Ocho

Hers

Walang segundong hindi ko naisip si Zach. I am silently hoping that....he'll be in my front door.....to see me.

Nights I spent crying myself to sleep. Because.....I miss him. So bad. I badly want to hear his silly jokes.

But we need this. Both of us. We need space. I need it to. There are things I have to fix alone.

I........am currently reaching out Dione because I want to talk to her. I want closure. I want explanataion. I want peace....and I am not reaching out to her not because I want to forgive her...but it's for me. It's for my own peace.

Because I want to accept everything. I want to let go. I want my grudge to slowly fade away....and in order to do that, I need closure.

I am not reaching out for her to reconcile, because I don't intend to keep her in my life.

Fortunately, she agreed. We set a date for our meet up and that will be days from now.

I tied my hair and fixed all of my things. Kinarga ko ang lahat na dadalhin sa aking bagpack, na halos pasalubong ko naman lahat para sa anak ni Sara.

I'll just ride my motorcycle from here in Manila to Baguio. I love the freedom of riding a motor. It feels so free. Kung paano ka sasabayan ng hangin sa pagmaneho, sobrang nakakagaan ng pakiramdam.

Babalik ako sa Manila kapag mag-uusap na kami ni Dione. At....isa pa sa bumabagabag sa aking isipan ang kasal ni Nathan na gaganapin sa susunod na linggo. I promised him that I'll go..... I just shrugged it off and put my bagpack on.

Pansamantalang nakalimutan ko ang realidad nang tumulak ako papuntang Baguio. Agad na sumalubong sa akin ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin pero walang katumbas ang lamig ng aking nararamdaman.

At parang mas nasaktan lang ako pagdating kina Sara. Dahil agad kong naalala si Zalim....This is where he grew up. This is where we created a lot of memories....together.

I pinched my arm so I won't cry because.....I know...that my baby hated to see me cry.

I should....be thankful that I got to spent time with him before he died. I can't go back and change the past. Right now....I have to look straight ahead. Look forward for the future because it's something that you're going to face.

However, this doesn't mean that I'll forget of Zalim because he'll always live in my heart.

In...another life, I will see him. And I will hug him as tight as I could...and I will love him.....more than what I can give. And....if that happens, I'll make sure....that he'll spend time with his father.

"Thamina!"

I laughed when Sara ran towards me and hugged me so tight that I wasn't able to breathe!

"I missed you." I whispered and hugged her back.

"You'll be staying here two nights! Grabe! Miss na miss kitang bruha ka!"

Natawa ako at kinurot ang braso niya. Agad niya naman akong binitawan at hinila papasok. Sumalubong sa akin si auntie Neth at agad ding yinakap.

"Kamusta ka na? Wala ka pang asawa? Matanda ka na ah!" pabungad niya na ikinatawa ko na lang.

"Huwag kang mag-alala auntie, iimbitahan ko kayo kapag ikakasal na ako." natatawa ko ding biro.

Gabi na nang nakarating ako kaya diretso kaming naghapunan.

"Baby, what will you say?"

"Tentyu tita!"

I laughed and kissed my friend's son. He's just so so adorable and cute! Halos maging niyebe na din ang kulay ng balat dahil sa sobrang puti niya. Namumula din ang pisngi.