When The Clock Strikes at 12✔

15

#WTCSA12
A pageant

Carmela

Ilang araw na ang nakalipas simula nung namatay si Mei. We still can't accept it but we can't do anything but to accept it. Mei is gone far away and will never come back again. She is missed by many people here.

She was like our older sister. Always scolding us and correcting our wrongs. Leading us in the right path and we will continue going there even if she's gone. She will always be remembered.

Nakahilig ang ulo ko ngayon sa upuan ko at pilit na makinig sa sinasabi ng teacher namin. Wala ako sa sarili ko these days. I tried to smile but I am not okay.

I just can't seem to be happy.

Everything that is happening to us right now is too much to absorb in mind.

We don't want someone to be gone again but we don't even know what to do to stop all this shit. We don't know who is our enemy. We don't know to whom we should scared of.

Four of our friends already died and their death didn't have justice. No, I am not okay and I don't know if I'll be okay.

"Carmela ayos ka lang?" Bulong ni Alex na katabi ko lamang.

Alam kong hindi din siya nakikinig dahil kitang kita ko na nagseselpon siya ng patago.

Tumango na lamang ako sa kaniya dahil wala akong lakas para magsalita. I am lack of sleep and I don't eat that much. I will just eat if I want to.

I don't feel anything. I don't feel hunger, happiness and everything. I just feel pain. I am not heartless I am just hurt.

"Yung eyebags mo Carmela pwede nang ibenta." Sabi naman ni Jc sa likod ko pero hindi ko siya pinansin at nakatingin lamang ako sa kawalan at nag iisip nang kung ano ano.

Baka nababaliw na ako.

"Ms. Lucasan."

Kailangan ko na sigurong kumain baka mapasukan ng hangin ang ulo ko at magaya pa ako kay Jc na maluwag ang turnilyo ng utak.

"Ms. Lucasan."

Matutulog na din ako ng madami dahil kahit saan ako magpunta ay inaantok ako. Feeling ko anytime ay babagsak na ang talukap ng mata ko.

"Ms. Lucasan!"

Muntik na akong maglaglag sa gulat dahil sa sigaw ng teacher namin kaya umayos ako ng upo at tumingin sa kaniya ng nakangiti. Baka bigla na lang akong ibagsak.

"I already called you three times but you seemed to be out of place. Ms. Lucasan kind to share what your thinking?" Taas kilay na saad ng teacher namin kaya hindi ko napigilang hindi iikot ang mata ko dahil sa inis.

"Since you always a ache in the head of the class. May kailangan kang gawin for you not to fail." Sabi ng teacher namin at seryoso itong tumingin sa mga mata ko.

Hindi ko napigilang hindi mapalunok. Anong ipapagawa niya sa akin? Maglilinis din ba ako ng Gymnasium? May community service ba ako? Mag aanswer ng bundok na test paper?

"We all know that there is an incoming event right? It's next week."
Kumunot naman ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi ng teacher. May event? Bakit wala akong alam?

"Dahil wala pa tayong representative in this section Ms. Lucasan I choose you to be our representative." Bigla na lamang ito lumapit sa akin. "You will be our section's representative for a pageant."

Pageant? Nakanganga pa akong itinuro ang sarili ko habang nakatingin kay Ma'am.

"E ma'am hindi naman ako marunong rumampa tsaka baka mapahiya lang section natin." Napakamot namana ko ng batok ko dahil sa sinabi ko.