LASTLY, MY FIRST

Part 10 | I Love You, Jennie Kim

LISA

"Lis, are you really sure you're serious by this time?" Jimin asked me while we're having a dinner at her family's restaurant.

"Serios of?" I asked. I don't know what he means.

"Of Jennie." He said.

I don't understand why my friends doubts my feeling towards Jennie. Not only them. Also people at school. It's been 3 months already that Jennie became my girlfriend. I know it's too fast, but I am sure of what I feel towards her. This is the first time I feel good taking care of someone. This is the first time I feel being in love. I love her and I don't need to explain why to other people. What's important is, Jennie and I are happy.

"What the hell, Jimin? I am courting her everyday even if we're officially together already."  I told her while drinking my beer after a heavy meal.

"Lis, I am just..you know..I mean, Jennie is a wonderful person. She's smart, beautiful, appealing, soft-hearted and fragile." He said with a worried face.

"Are you telling me I'm just going to play with her?" I asked.

"I've known you since we were kids, Lisa. When you had your relationship with Miyeon, you cheated not just ten times but more. I remember what you did when you and Miyeon were on your first week dating, who's that girl you touched in the club, huh?" He said and I just smirked.

"Here, man. Listen. I wasn't sure of Miyeon. You know that. I did not even know how to handle our relationship. You know we're just forced to date each other right? With Jennie, I feel safe. I am happy. I am so satisfied even if she does nothing. You know that? No words can express how I feel about her simple ways that makes my heart pound so fast. She's....she's the woman of my dreams. And I only realized that the first time I saw her." Jimin can't believe what he's hearing now. "Do you know how happy I am just by kissing her? Just looking at her smile? By just hearing her voice---I am satisfied. No orgasm or cum can ever top that, man. I swear, Jennie is my soulmate."

"Fuck. Manoban. For ten long years being friends with you, It's the first time I heard the word 'soulmate' from your horny mouth that only knows how to lick united nation of pussies. You're whipped." He said with his big eyes glued on my uncontrolled smile.

I left their restaurant after our conversation for I have to fetch Jennie from work. I really admire her. Even if I am giving her already the life she deserves, she doesn't want to stop earning for herself.

A week ago, I asked for her permission if we can live together. At first she was hesitant. I knew she worried about Aunt Dara even if Seulgi already accompanies her at home. So, we talked about it and I also asked Aunt Dara's permission if Jennie can live with me and luckily, she approved. So, yeah, Jennie and I are living together at my apartment.

Days have passed and 2 months from now, it's my graduation. Stress from school and from my family are bugging my life right now. Good thing I have Jennie. She helps me with her vision when it comes to my Archi proposals and designs and with my thesis as well. I really appreciate her ideas and I am always amazed with her inputs.

My family.

So, my dad knew about us already. My sister Nayeon told me that our father got mad when he learned that I am dating Jennie. Nayeon told me also that he even called Jennie a whore. This is the reason why I don't want to live with them. Because of my father. He is strict, judgmental and controlling. I'm lucky I got my mother's good qualities somehow.

Because of my status in the society, being the President's daughter, I had to be cautious of my actions. But for many years, I didn't give a fuck. But by this time, I don't know why I am so bothered. I am actually nervous. My father knew that I am finally in love with someone. He knew I never loved my ex this way. What frightens me is the fact that he might do something with Jennie. He has power, and his for own satisfaction, he might use it for his own good even if he would hurt people around him. I don't get it when he is so good with other people, but to his own daughter, he's a monster.

No doubt why last week, I was on the headline reported that I am dating a college whore. I am just lucky that Jennie's very understanding of the situation, but I know deep inside, she's hurting. That's why I never missed a day making her feel special.

Jennie and I are very transparent to each other. We've been practicing a healthy relationship as a couple. Like we honestly say what's on our minds, how we feel and what we want. Sometimes we argue with things, which we really can't avoid, but we make sure we meet halfway and come up with a solution. We never end the night without peace of mind and healthy heart. I also told her about my past self. I admitted to her that I am so addicted to sex before I met her. That I even had this tendency to hurt girls first before I fuck them because I myself is so fucked up in this world. They let me do it with my crazy ways you could never imagine. But now, with Jennie, I treat every sex as lovemaking. I couldn't even believe I am now at this point where I can control my urges.

Jennie didn't judge me. She knew I'm lost and what she keeps doing is finding me. And when she finds me in the middle of nowhere, she holds me even tighter. She tells me that underneath it all, my flaws are still shining in beauty.

Day by day, I am learning a lot from her. Like living a simple life, being honest, contented and having the right choices. She's heaven's sent. I used to be the devil who's now got bended by this angel.

Every day, we're learning a lot from each other. It's true when they say, someday you're going to find your match. And she is my match! I believe it.

Imagine, I am learning how to wash our clothes, wash the dishes, cook, clean the house, my car and even being a responsible partner.  Last time I checked, all I know is how to fuck whoever I want, but now, I am so into her. Just her. Call me whipped or crazy, I don't care. All I know is, I am so in love with Jennie Kim.

Let me tell you some of our experiences together like when we're at the mall or dining in a restaurant. Before, I check out some boobs and butts. Now, my eyes are just glued to Jennie's soul.

Before, I used to hire a stripper just to make me feel the world is mine, but now, I have her. She is my world and she makes it a meaningful place to live in.

Back to my sex addiction, Jennie made me realize that I should never be ashamed of it because I still have the capability to control it. Man, she has this magic. What she does to me is fantastic. Every time I feel so horny that I want to fuck her so hard, and when she touch me, I feel calm.

Her touch. Her touch is my therapy so we end up making love than having rough sex. But. But. She knows how to balance it. Sometimes she would ask me to do it with her in the garage, in the kitchen, bathtub, living area, and she has this intensity with her that even if we do it roughly, love still controls us. We end every sex kissing passionately and never-ending hugs which I didn't usually do with other women in the past.

Her body. It's like, I worship her skin. I have this discovery too that I could touch a woman gently and that's with Jennie only.

Her kiss. The only kiss that makes me feel this romantic excitement inside my chest.

Her voice. Jennie's voice that crawls through my veins and makes me want to live more.

Her. She is my living hope, my air and my reason to appreciate the day.

And me. I am Lisa Manoban, a lost kid longing for a family. A lost human who sailed through fucked up roads of shakiness. A lost soul who aims for the meaning of life. But now found by the woman she loves and gets lost with her until they find the way. Together.

You are the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with you, Jennie Kim.