LASTLY, MY FIRST

Part 20 | Misery

LISA

So, it's been fucking four years I'm married to Miyeon and still..... I couldn't get her pregnant. My Dad is pressuring me now. Especially when he had a stroke a few months ago and now on a wheelchair. We advised him not to run for Presidency anymore. We assured him that Hanbin will continue to serve the country as Senator and soon will run for the position as President of South Korea in the next few years.

I cried every night. Not only because of the fact that I am infertile. But also with this miserable life. I am trying to love Miyeon, but i really can't force my heart. It always belongs to her-----to Jennie Kim. What did you do to me that day we first met that i couldn't stop falling in love with you?

But somehow, I am pacifying myself. I just tell myself it's better this way. If Jennie and I ended up together, she couldn't have an adorable son.
I kept blaming myself for being infertile. I am even scared to get tested and slap the reality right to my face. God knows how much I wanted to have a child.

Maybe this is my destiny.
I may have the name now as one of the best Architects in Europe, but I am not happy. I am miserable.

I have decided to visit Thailand so I can assess if I can build my own firm there. Miyeon agreed with me but she doesn't want to live in Bangkok. This is another problem. I don't feel home here in Switzerland. My heart is in my childhood place. My family is there.

We booked a flight the next day.

The royals welcomed us but not as much as how they welcomed Jennie and I five years ago.
I understand my Aunt and Uncle. But they are also trying their best to deal with Miyeon's upper classiness bitchy attitude when we arrived at their house. Actually we just surprised them.

I toured Miyeon around on our second day and she kept taking pictures of us on the tourist spots. I got tired easily and asked her if we can go home already. I don't know. I am just not in the mood.
I want to lay my back on bed and sleep for hours.

We arrived at the King's house around 6pm and it was dinner time. The couple invited us to join them.

Miyeon and I sat beside each other. The dining area is quiet so I decided to open up a conversation.

"Uncle, where's Bam? Does he know I'm here?" I asked the King.

"Yeah, he knows but he was too busy with your Mom's business yesterday. He is coming tonight. He just fetched Jennie and Elijah from the Airport."
He said.

I almost choked.

"Jennie is coming?" I asked. Miyeon looked at my reaction and smiled at me. Actually we don't talk about Jennie since we got married.

"Yeah. It has been her plan to visit us here. But i told her to make sure Eli is in stable condition before riding a plane. So, since Eli is fine now, I allowed them to travel. I am so excited to see that little guy!" My uncle said.

"Me too. Finally! I am seeing my little Eli soon. And of course...Jennie. I can't wait to see that sexy. You know, we just talked through video calls. I'm sorry Lisa and Miyeon, we didn't know you're coming. " My Aunt added.

Wait. Jennie is still in touch with them? Eli? What do they mean that he is fine now?

After 30mins, I heard Bambam's voice from the door.

"My family, good evening. I have a present for all of y-----" He didn't finish his line when he saw me and rushed to my chair and we hugged each other. He also smiled to Miyeon.

Then here.

A little guy running towards the King. He knows him?

"Gramps!" Eli said when the King carried him and kissed him non-stop.

My aunt took Eli from my uncle and hugged him so tight.

Eli went down from Aunt and approached Miyeon and hugged her too.

He stopped hugging Miyeon and slowly walked towards me like a shy guy.

"Hi. Come here, buddy," I told him. And when I smiled at him. He sat on my lap and hugged me tight. My heartbeat was pounding so fast. And my whole body went warm when he cupped my face and caressed it.

How I wish you are my son.
Jennie's got the skills of raising a kind and respectful son.

Wait. Where's the mother?

I lifted my head when I heard her voice. She's actually staring at me and her son already.

"Good evening everyone!" That voice. That voice becomes more sexy. My aunt and uncle hugged her tight and told her how much they miss her and they had been looking forward to see her.

"I missed you Aunt and Uncle. I missed you guys so much!" She told them while having teary eyes.

Shit. Is this Jennie Kim right in front of me?

Jesus. She is more sultry. Her blouse that fits her perfect breast and her jeans that shows how hot those sexy back. I used to own her. Aaaaaah!
She's even more beautiful and gorgeous now in that flowing thin layer hair!

"Hi Miyeon." She greeted her and offered a handshake.

"Hi Lisa. It's been a while." She said and I pulled her waist and hugged her tight. I didn't care already even if Miyeon is watching us.

Fuck. She's not even mad anymore. Remembering that I forced her before. Man, that was rape, but she did not even file a case against you.

How can I ask for her forgiveness? I want to apologize. My conscience is eating me alive.

We all went to bed. I still can't get over Jennie. My heart is still pumping like how it used to the first time i laid my eyes on her back in college.

And my wife, Miyeon, is right beside me. God.

"Honey, sorry I will not be able to accompany you tomorrow to search for a perfect spot for your office here. A magazine company found out I'm here and they offered me to be the cover of their magazine. Can I attend the shoot instead?" She asked.

"Oh yeah. Sure." I answered back.

It's 3am already and I can't fucking sleep. I still think of her, my ex, my love-----the one that got away.