LASTLY, MY FIRST

Part 27 | They Are

LISA

I understand Jennie. As much as I want to be with her, we still can't. We can't rush things. What I did is so hard to forgive and i am aware of that. A month has passed and she has been cold to me. Sometimes I would just go to their house to visit Eli and I don't know why Jennie became unresponsive to me from that night we made love again. We went to the beach and amusement park as I promised to Eli. But his mother didn't join us.

Can I complain? Of course, not. I don't want to force Jennie. As much as I want to make her feel my love, she's the one blocking me.

Everytime I ask her something, she just answer me with a yes or a no. Sometimes I would text how she is or we can have lunch or dinner together, but I got no reply.

I want to have a family. A family with her and Eli.
What's stopping her from accepting me again? My marriage with Miyeon which will end very soon? I am going to be officially unmarried next week. I already begged to my family to use their power just to rush it. Even my father already helped. What else? She is scared. Yes, Jennie is still scared of what I might do. But God knows, if only I could turn back time. I regret everything I did. But I can't blame her.

Or Kai.

How many nights I come to their house and she would go home late with him. Sometimes Elijah would sleep at my house because she's not around. Aunt Dara and Seulgi has to go to work since their boss made some shifts on working schedule.

I bring my son even on meetings and project sites. I send him to school and I am also the one picking him up. You just don't know how this little guy makes me happy everyday.

I also brought her to my Dad's house and finally, he is ok with my son. I mean, they even play together. My Dad is making a way to be a good grandfather to him. He even brings Eli to some of his interviews sometimes and carry him on his lap on national television.

I am weak. I can't even confront Jennie. I honestly don't feel she still wants us to be back together. She ignore my gifts and love letters. She ignore my calls. She ignore me. Maybe it wasn't true when she said she still loves me. Am I still in the position to pursue her? God. However I try to bring us back together, she's the one who backs off.

After a week, i got something from the mail. I was surprised when I read it and finally......I am no longer married to Miyeon. To my excitement, i rushed to Jennie's house and tell her the news.

I knocked for like 15mins but no one's opening the door. I didn't stop until she opened it.

"Jen! I have a news for you!" I said excitedly. But she just show me her blank face.

I opened the document and showed it to her.
"I am no longer married with her. Jen, let's get married. Please." I sounded so desperate but yeah, I really want to marry her.

"Lisa, stop." She said and looks bothered.

"Is it too fast? Okay. I will wait. I am sorry, Jen." I apologized to her in my soft voice.

"No. I mean, stop this." She turned her back and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I followed.

"Why? Don't you love me anymore? Don't you want to have a family with me---?" I said and I'm shaking. She didn't let me finish.

"Kai and I are together." She said.

I froze. My butt fell on the chair at the dining table and stared blankly.