𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗦𝗮𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗲𝗿

Part 1 (Gons POV)

Gons POV:

When we first met, I thought you were really cool! You were one of my very first best friends ever! And after the exam, I heard you went back to the Zoldyck mansion, the house of assassins. I knew I had to save you! So me, Leorio, and Kurapika went to help. But when we got there, we were faced with our first challenge. The testing gates.

During all of that training to be able to opening it, I realized I wanted to be by your side forever! I wanted to travel the world with you! And over time, you began protecting me, while I was being reckless. You hurt for me, you felt pain. All because of me. And I never paid that back to you.. I just shut you out while fighting against Pitou..

I never forgave myself for that. You tried to help me. But I just shut you out, even though we promised we would always fight together.. And then we split up.. and after that, I realized that I loved you.. and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you..

During that time we did spend together, I was an awful friend.. I didn't deserve to call myself your friend.. And I never forgave myself for it at all.. so I decided.. I wanted the pain to go away.. just thinking about you make my stomach twist in knots.. so I cut myself.. it took the pain away, so I kept cutting, and cutting..

That went on for 4 years.. and 1 year after.. we decided to meet up.. and that's when I saw.. her, your fiancé. I was heart broken, my heart ripped in 2 just seeing you two together.. so happy.. without me.

I was invited to the wedding, and it seemed like Kurapika, Leorio and Alluka loved her.. so I put on a fake smile and watched you two be happy together.

After the wedding I started cutting again. All I thought about was how happy you two were.. it broke me. Mentally and physically. I stopped eating, I lost my appetite for food, I was losing weight fast. And it wasn't like I had much fat on me in the first place.

When I looked in the mirror I could see my ribs. There was dark circles around my eyes. I didn't get much sleep at all. You would call me all the time, and during those times I would put on a fake smile, and fake laugh. Sometimes you would ask to meet up.. but I always said I was busy..

But of course I was lying. I just didn't have the strength to get out of bed and move around. I would just stare out into space thinking.. about you a lot.. about her, and how jealous I was. But I couldnt hate her, she was perfect. I wasn't, she's everything anyone could ever want. And I'm just.. me.

No one would ever like me.. so what's the point in staying here.. You probably wouldn't even notice I was gone.. no one would. They would just carry on with their day like nothing's wrong. And something was wrong.. wrong with me, I was broken.

And one day I finally snapped. I put on a hoodie, some jeans and shoes, and headed out to a tall building. It wasn't hard to find since I moved to York new. So I went to the tallest one I could find, and went to the roof.

No one would care if you were dead

No one would even notice

You don't matter

You are nothing!

They are friends with you out of pity!

They don't like you

No one does

That's why he chose her, and not you!

YOURE USELESS

YOURE NOTHING

MISTAKE

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I yelled pulling on my hair. I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I walk closer to the edge looking down upon the smaller people. I smile lightly, that's the first time I've actually smiled in years.. I look up at the sky, to the sun, clouds, and birds flying around.

I start laughing "it's finally over.." I look down again "I can finally be at peace.. I don't have to fight anymore."

I bend down, and took off my shoes and stood next to them. I sign happily. I take a step off of the edge, then I let myself fall. "I-I'm sorry..

Killua.."

That was it. I was finally free! I was finally at peace with myself..

But..

"...WHERE IS HE?! IS HE ALIVE?! LET ME SEE HIM!"