𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗦𝗮𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗲𝗿

Part 15 (Gons POV)

Gons POV:

I wake up breathing heavy, with tears dried on my face. I sit up and look around. I'm in my bed, and I see Killua sleeping next to me. I look forward, while im still breathing heavy. Fuck.. not a breakdown while he is here.. just breathe.. it will be ok..

I rub my eyes, but the tears just keep coming, I have to get out of here. I quietly get out of bed, and walk over to the bathroom, I slowly and quietly close it, and then lock it. I walk over to the corner and sit down while hugging my knees. Resting my forehead on my knees, trying to muffle the sobs.

I kept rubbing my eyes, while covering my mouth to make myself quieter. My eyes became puffy, and my stomach started to twist in knots.. I need to cut.. I've been fighting this urge to for 2 months now.. I can't take it any longer. I stand up, hopping that the blade I had in the bathroom was still there. But right as I opened the cabinet and took out the blade I heard a noise from the other side of the door.

"Gon?" I heard a soft gentle voice ask.

Fuck.. now I've fucked up, I've really done it now. I start to panic while trying to think of what to do, "Gon are you in there?" The soft voice asks again tugging and pushing at the door. "Gon come on, I know your in there, just say something." He says with visible worry in his voice. I start to break down, tears start to stream down my face, and I fall to the floor, the blade dropping right next to me.

"Gon?!" He asks louder with more worry. "I-I.." I start to say. "Gon let me in!" He yells pushing harder at the door. "Gon please, I'm not mad at you just let me in please!" He yells again. Why can't I move, I can't do anything, I can't say anything or even blink. I'm just a lifeless statue.. "I-I.." I stutter out again. JUST SAY SOMETHING! "Gon I'm about to kick down this door, I'm not joking! Let me in!" He says starting to bang on the door.

I finally get enough strength in my arm to move it up to the handle to unlock it. My arm falls back down, and the tears keep coming not stopping for anything.  Immediately the door busts open showing killuas worried face. I looks down at me, then his attention turns to the blade. "Oh my god.." he falls on the floor and picks up the blade. He inspects it, most likely to see if there is any blood on it. "Gon.." his voice softens. He looks mad from what I can tell from the corner of my eye. I knew he was mad at me.. "Damnit Gon.." he mumbles. "I-I'm s-sorry.." I mumble so quiet I can barely hear myself. I'd be surprised if he heard it.

And by the change in his face, I could tell he could. He jerks his head up to look at me shocked, I slowly turn my head to face him. "I-I'm s-so s-sorry.." I mumble again this time a little louder. I can see tears start to form in the corner of his eyes, and he wipes his eyes, and basically throws himself into a hug with me. "I-I'm sorry I d-disappointed y-you.." I say nuzzling my head in his neck. "Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed in you Gon?" He asks confused. "I-I've let y-you down.. I'm s-such a f-failure.." I say sobbing into his neck. "Stop saying that stuff! You aren't a failure, you never were and you never will be. I love you so much so. I've loved you since the second I laid my eyes on you. I knew i needed you. Don't you love me back?" He asks. And pulls away with his hands on my shoulder. I shut my eyes and nod.

While my eyes are still closed he pulls closer in, I'm thinking he's just going to hug me but..

I feel his lips softly touch mine, and my eyes widen quickly with shock. After about 4 seconds he pulls away go look at me, with pure love in his eyes smiling lightly. "I-I.." I stutter. "Does that prove that I love you enough? Or do I have to try harder?" He asks.

I just sit there speechless..