𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗦𝗮𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗲𝗿

Part 17 (Gons POV)

Gons POV:

I wake up to an empty bed. I don't remember much from last night, only that I woke up and had a panic attack. And killua comforted me. And now I'm in bed, I don't remember how I got in bed.. but I do remember him kissing me.. I blush and touch my lips.

It was like a dream come true, I'm still in denial that it even happened. Speaking of killua, where is he? I stand up, and rub my eyes yawning. I walk out of my room, to see killua making breakfast. I walk over to him and rest my head on his shoulder. "G-good morning.." I say shyly into his neck. "Good morning Gon." he says sweetly continuing to make the food. "Your therapy appointment is at 12:30, so go take a shower and get ready. He says petting my head, and kissing my forehead.

I remember all about the appointment, and sadly nod my head, turning around to walk to my room to get clothes. I pick out a plain black shirt with a white long sleeve under shirt, jeans and belt with boxers and socks. I walk over to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Now would be a great time to- I get cut out of my thoughts when I see the blade is gone. Damn.. he took it.. this is why I have an extra one just in case. I smirk thinking I outsmart Killua. I look in the cabinet where I keep it and see it's also not there. So he took both of them.. crap..he's too smart..

I sigh and give up. I set my clothes down and turn on the water. I start to strip trying not to look at the scars on my arms and legs. They have a healed, but left scars.. I throw my clothes in the laundry hamper and check to see if the water is warm enough. It is so I step in and let the water fall on my face.

Time skip

I finish washing my hair and body, so I turn of the water and grab a towel to dry myself off as I step out.  I start to put on the clothes I picked out, first boxers, then under shirt, then black shirt, then jeans and I tuck in the shirts and pull some of it lose. Then the belt, and the socks. I get a comb and brush out my hair, and it goes back to sticking up like always. I look at myself in the mirror.

You're such a mess..

You're so ugly..

why does Killua even like you?

And they are back.. the demons.. the voices that don't seem to go away no matter how hard I try. I feel a burning sensation in my eyes, and quickly realize it's tears. I close my eyes tightly and breathe. Calm down.. it's ok... don't break down.. I put on my best fake smile and unlock the bathroom door and walk out.

Once I walk in to the kitchen killua is eating in the table, and there is a plat sitting next to him. I sit down and look down at it. Pancakes.. I smile a little. "Did you make these yourself?" I asked him curious. He nods and smiles at me. "Eat." He says looking at my plate. I nod and start to eat.

After we finish eating we put our plates in the sink, and killua goes to take a shower and get ready. By the time he's finished it's about 10:30. "If we leave now we will get there at 12:15, so early." He says walking closer to me. I nod and hug him. "Thank you.." I mumble in his shoulder. After a second he returns the hug, "I would do anything for you Gon.. I love you so much.." he says softly. I hug him tighter and nuzzle my face into his neck. He layes his head down in my shoulder and I can feel him smile.

After a minute we pull away and he takes my hand. "Ready?" He asks. I nod and we walk out, killua grabbing his keys in the process.

Time skip to when they get there

Im not really paying attention to my surroundings, as I'm staring out the window deep in thought. Until the car suddenly stops and I hear Killua turn off the car. I raise my head a look around. "We're here." He smiles. That fast.. my stomach quickly starts to get tied in knots of nervousness. I get snapped out of my thoughts as Killua puts his hand on my thigh. "Nervous?" He asks. I nod and look down at my lap.

It is short lived as a hand cups around my cheek and my head is getting pulled up to meet the ocean blue eyes that I love. He smiles sweetly at me. "There is nothing to be nervous about, I'll be with you the whole time promise." He reassured me. I nod and smile a little back at him. He lets go off my chin, and releases my thigh from his grasp and he opens his door. "If you open your door I'm going to hurt you." He says in a joking voice. I cross my arms and wait for him. "Yes mom.." I mumble. Eventually my door opens and he offers his hand to me. I gladly take is and he gently pulls me out of the car.

We walk in the building and killua checks in for me and we sit down in the waiting room. Once we sit down I lay my head on his shoulder. I can basically hear him smile and he lays his head on mine and takes my hand. He brings it up to his mouth and kisses the back of it.

The time seems to go by so fast as we head a door open and hear, "Gon Freecss?" I hear the therapist ask. I start to get nervous again as killua stands up, me following close behind.

The therapist asks us to follow him, as he brings up to a room. But before we enter, "So, since this is his first time here we need to ask some personal questions that need to stay between me and him. So sir could you please wait in this chair?" He asks pointing to the chair. Killua nods before looking at me, me looking back with a scared/nervous look on my face. He gives me a tender smile, "it's ok Gon, I'll be right outside so there is nothing to worry about. Ok?" He says. I hesitantly nod and he waves as me and the therapist walk into the room, him closing the door behind him. I sit down in the chair, and he sits down in front of me getting out a clipboard.

"Nice to meet you Gon. I'm Dr.Suzuki, and today I'm going to be asking you some questions about what happened that day. It won't take too long, but all I can ask is you please be honest with us. We only want to help you and lying won't be the best decision for you right now. Ok?" He says adjusting his glasses looking at his clipboard. I mumble a yes and nod. He smiles, "good. So why don't we get into the questions shall we?" He asks and I hesitantly nod also replying with an ok.