𝕄𝕪 𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘// ℙ𝕄

Chapter 32

Editing? I don't know what that is

Ashley's POV

"That didn't just happen..." I widened my eyes.

"I think it did...." Payton muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Payton, why did you do that?!?"

"Well why did you kiss back?!?"

"I don't know..."

He looked at me again and his gaze softened.

"I just fucking cheated on my girlfriend...." He stared down at the car seat.

All I could do was stare. I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"I'm sorry," I muttered as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"No no," He rushed over and wiped the tear off of my face, "Why are you sorry?"

"We should just forget about this," I sniffed and regained my composure, "I don't want to ruin your relationship, so we'll just never speak of it."

I don't want to lie to her, but I don't want to lose her either," He sighed.

"I know..." I mumbled.

My heart hurt when I thought about Serenity. It was almost as if her existence taunted me, showing me exactly what I wanted to be but couldn't. But somehow, even though she was so perfect, Payton still kissed me that day. I knew his simple mistake didn't mean that he still had feelings for me though. His heart still belonged to the girl that I could never be. Even after having a moment with me his mind drifted immediately to her. I wanted to be the one who consumed his thoughts.

I had convinced myself for so long that I had lost all feelings for him, but the moment he pulled me in, all of the feelings that I didn't let myself feel before resurfaced.

We have to ignore it. You have a girlfriend so we have to ignore that I keep falling harder and harder for you everytime I see you. We have to ignore the fact that I'll never get over you no matter how much I try. We have to disregard that I have to deny my feelings everyday.

We'll pretend that I'm not falling in love with you.

"But I don't know what else to do Payton. If we just forget about it, maybe it won't be a problem. If we don't let it mean anything, then it wont." My eyes dropped down to the carseat.

"I think that's what we're going to have to do.." He muttered.

He started to speak more but I zoned out. My eyes focused on the car seat. It was a cool light grey color with white stitching that sealed the pieces of fabric that covered the shell of the seat. The middle seat had a strip of patterned fabric that was distinctly separate from the normal plain textile. The section was decorated with miscellaneous shapes in a darker gray tone.

I came back to reality when I heard Payton repeating my name.

"Huh sorry...I may or may not have spaced out," I let out a light awkward laugh.

"It doesn't matter, I was just rambling. Can we just agree to not tell anyone."

"Yeah, yeah of course," I sat up straight.

"That includes Tessa," He said, sternly.

"Don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone. I promise," I gave a sad smile. As much as I was trying to hide my pain, I couldn't help but look sad. He was playing with my heart and it was working.

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A week later(the next weekend) we still held our tongues about the kiss. I had managed to keep it from Tessa even when she repeatedly asked about what happened when we left the skating rink. I told her about the panda and the fair, but I left out the kiss everytime she forced me to retell her the story.

Christmas was a week away and I was sitting in my bedroom with my laptop open. Angelica was laying besides me on her stomach looking at the computer as well. We were attempting to plan a Christmas party with the group. We had decided that they would all come over Christmas Eve and sleepover into the next morning, but we still needed to find decorations and presents.

"Those are cute," Angelica pointed to one of the holiday banners on the screen.

"I'm not a big fan of the green," I squinted at the screen.

Angelica scoffed, "Why do you have to be so picky," She groaned.

She wasn't wrong. We had been searching for hours because I managed to find a flaw with anything and everything that she liked.

"Why do you have to pick ugly things?" I retorted.

"If you don't like any of my choices then do it yourself Ashley Willow," She gave up and pulled a pillow onto her face as she flipped over onto her back.

"Fine I will," I said adamantly and turned back to my computer. After only a couple moments of browsing I found a couple things that I liked and ordered them.

(a/n: you'll see those at the actual time of the party)

"Done." I smirked and shut my computer.

"Already?" Angelica shot up.

"Yep." I flashed my eyebrows up at her, "You just made everything difficult. See how easy it was without you," I teased.

"My bad," She chuckled.

Payton's POV

I layed on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. My mind drifted to Ashley. I had trouble getting her out of my head after last week. It was as if the thought of her was permanently set in my brain.

I sat up and picked up my phone.

Payton: Hey can you come over it's important

Serenity: Yeah sure I'll be over in 5? (:

Payton: Sure that works

I set down my phone and threw myself onto my back again, waiting for Serenity to arrive. Everything about what had happened the weekend before was eating away at my mind.

A couple minutes later I heard the creak of the door and Serenity walked in.

"Hey what's up," She gave a sweet smile.

Aaaanddddd......CUT

This chapter is horrible and I hate it, but it's fine.

If anyone has book recommendations please give them

If anyone cares about my recommendations:

I'd say to check out OXYGEN by my friend Peyton -BOTTOMBITCH

and my friend Andi is starting a new book called My fake boyfriend Andii420 so you can look at that.

Coolkyky has a nice book called Torn Apart

My other friend -MIAMORCALLMEPAPI has bomb books

The Photoshoot by aestheticpytn is one of my favorites

I really like Adore you by -MOORMEIERPAY as well

And old friends by @paytsloser is really good

Okay that's all

Later Losers 🦑