✔️Soundtrack to My Youth (18+)

Down Again

Returning to school, after having two weeks off was super hard. My body clock had adjusted to waking up later in the day so when my alarm clock blasted at 6:45am, pulling me from my deep, restful slumber, I cursed at the world. Dragging my ass out of bed, into the freezing cold morning air, I slumped my way to the kitchen where I was surprised to find Bridget, showered, dressed, preparing breakfast for us both.

"Someone's keen to get back to school" I laughed as I began making my coffee. She handed me a plate of scrambled eggs and toast before taking her own plate into the dinning room adjacent to the kitchen. I eyed her attempt at cooking, cautiously poking the fluffy eggs with a fork to free the stray pieces of egg shell that she neglected to remove, other than that she had actually done a really decent job.

"I want to get to the library before roll call, I need to email Amber" 

I should have guessed it would be an Amber related reason that would have her up before the sun. We have dial up Internet in our house but it takes about twenty minutes just to connect and runs super slow and drops out frequently. The school's internet was also dial up but ran a lot faster and connected within minutes. It probably didn't help that our desktop was running Windows 95 whereas the school had Windows 2000 installed but Bridget and I were still lucky enough to have home internet, many kids at school didn't.

"Don't forget, Dad has that appointment to see the specialist this afternoon so he'll be home a bit later" I remind her. Nick had set up an appointment for Dad to see a mesothelioma specialist, Dad knew what the outcome would most likely be but was still remaining tight lipped with Bridget and I until he had all the information.

"He's going to be alright though, right?" Bridget looks at me with fear in her eyes, I can't lie to her and tell her that he's going to be fine, knowing full well that this is just the beginning of a long and painful journey.

I still remember the first time around when Dad told Bridget and I that he had asbestos disease, it was chilly, Winter's afternoon on a Friday in 2000, Dad had been off work sick all week  he had finally dragged himself off to see a doctor on the Wednesday because I kept nagging him. I thought, being Winter, that he just had a chest infection because he had been finding it hard to breathe for a bit and his cough had become extremely worse as the temperature dropped. That doctor thought it was more than just a chest infection and sent him to see a specialist.

Kate and I had made plans that day to go to Halo, a new nightclub that had opened up the week before in town so when I arrived home from uni I was buzzing but my excitement soon turned to sadness when I entered the dinning room and found Bridget and Dad sitting at the table, he was holding her hand and both of them were crying. My Dad never cried so I knew that whatever the doctor had told him it must be serious.

I took a seat next to Dad, opposite Bridget and took Dad's large hand in mine. For the first time in my whole life my strong, hard working Father looked afraid. He explained, in detail what his diagnosis was and what it meant for his future. He wanted to protected us but he also wanted us to be prepared for when things would get worse.

That day changed my whole life, I was transferring to Sydney University the next year and had just been accepted as an intern at the Sydney History Museum but I put those plans aside to stay in Claremont and look after Dad. 

Dad's diagnosis also brought Bridget and I closer together, I stopped seeing her as my bratty, annoying little sister and started wanting to protect her from evils of the world, I started sharing more of my life with her, the pain I had felt when things had finally ended with Lucas and the struggle I was having with moving on, she, in turn opened up about her own life, slowly and cautiously at first but once she could see that we had built a bond of trust she let me completely in.