A Daylight Ride

A Daylight Ride chp.33

CHAPTER 33

I had locked myself in my room for two weeks. It was hell without Jace. I literally felt like something had punched me in the chest and ripped out all my emotion. In the morning, I dragged my butt out of my bad and went to school. When I got home, I went upstairs and locked myself in my room. Occasionally, I would go downstairs to eat then just walk back upstairs and lock myself in my room again. Both my parents had tried to talk to me about getting over Jace but I just couldn't do it. I loved him too much and without him there with me after of being together every day for six months, I really had no life anymore. Sometimes I overheard my parents talking. Sometimes, they talked about how getting rid of Jace was a good thing and I would eventually get over it. But I would never get over it, not for the rest of my life. Sometimes, they talked about me and how they were worried about how badly I was reacting to Jace leaving. I even heard my mom suggest that I was depressed and I wasn't going to argue with that. I probably was depressed. What would you do if the love of your life was taken away from you after going through so much with him? You would probably feel like crap and that there's no reason to keep trying anything anymore, your life is just ruined. That's exactly how I felt. Ruined, destroyed, heartbroken, devastated, anger, and pain were all I felt anymore. I had lost everything else. I even tried to go visit Jace a couple times but every single time, my parents would say no, that they didn't want me to see Jace and that he would be just fine without me. Truth be told, I had no idea how Jace was doing of what he was feeling. What if he got over me or he was happy about leaving? I would never know thanks to my parents. The only thing I had left to remember Jace was the bracelet he gave me. It reminded me that he loved me and that I still had all of those memories of him, but sometimes memories weren't good enough. I wasn't even sure if Jace cared about me anymore. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. The only thing I was absolutely sure of was that I had no life anymore, not without Jace. Jace was my whole life and not that he's gone so is my life. I needed to see him but I just didn't know how. My parents would let me and I couldn't drive yet. It's not that I wanted to see Jace, although I did. I physically needed to. I needed to know that Jace was ok and that he still loved me as much as I still loved at him but I guess I would never know. I took a deep breath trying not to cry again. I had wasted enough tears for something that wasn't going to happen. I slipped my hand under my pillow reaching for the only picture I had of Jace and I. I pulled it out and looked at it sadly. Jace had caught me by surprise and kissed me and I guess my mom, being the camera freak she was decided to take a picture. I was glad she did though. Her and my dad, after Jace left, deleted all of the pictures of him and took all of the things that he might have left. I looked at the picture again. Jace was holding my waist tightly pulling me closer to him and we had our lips firmly pressed together. I had my arms around his neck and was standing on my toes. I smiled sadly at the picture and put it back under my pillow. I needed to see Jace, I couldn't keep going on like this without knowing he was ok. I don't know how but I was going to find a way.

*******JACE'S POV*******

I was sitting on the stupid four poster bed in the foster home. My head was in my hands and I had a feeling all of the other kids in the room were staring at me. Ever since I first got here, all of the people considered me a freak. They didn't understand what I went through. They didn't have an abusive dad and no mom. They weren't forced away from the love of their life. Well I was and I wasn't coping too well with it. It was pure hell. Every day without Carmen was worse than the previous. I missed her so much it wasn't sad anymore it was painful. I felt like half of me had been ripped out and stomped on. it literally hurt to be away from Carmen, she was the only good thing I had left in my life. Like I told her too long ago, she was the reason I lived. Without her, I had no reason to love anymore. I had no family or friends and now that I didn't have Carmen, what did I have? Nothing, absolutely nothing.  I even heard some of the lady's that worked here talking about me. No one wants to adopt a seventeen year old, they said. I sighed and looked down at my neck to the green dog tag Carmen gave me that read J+C. It was the only thing I had left to remember Carmen. I still loved her so much. Sometimes I wondered if she got over me and moved on. It killed me inside to think that but if she was happy, that's all that mattered to me. She hadn't even bothered to visit me. Sometimes it bothered me but other times I wondered if her parents were keeping her from seeing me. Either way, I still miser her terribly.