Still With My Memories

19: Missing You

Taehyung POV
"Do you still dream of him?" Hyuna asked as I drive her home after eating dinner.

"Yes. Every night." I answered not taking my eyes off the road.

"What do you dream of him last night?" She asked as she coined in her mouth a piece of potato fries we bought in the restaurant.

"Nothing much. Same dream but this time I can hear his voice. I can't see his face though." Hyuna gently tap my shoulder as she notice the frustration in my face.

"That's good news! Just take it slowly no need to rush. You'll remember him soon." She said munching her food. Hyuna is my therapist and kinda my best friend as well.

"Thank you Hyuna." I glance at her briefly.

Every night, I had this dream of a mysterious person. Sometimes he appear wearing a red scarf and school uniform offering me a cup of coffee; sometimes he's just lying and laughing beside me. He reminded me of the vast and beautiful skies at night. The calmness I felt even in my dreams whenever I'm with him.

Would it be strange to miss someone you didn't know? It's been two years and I've been enduring every lonely nights thinking of who is he or if he misses me too. I just want to remember him.

Authors POV
Jimin woke up from cold breeze and gentle tinkling of wind chime hanging in their window. He had a good sleep. He thought.

He was smiling as he stretch his arms but eventually frowned with the sudden pain in his neck. "O-ow..." He whimpered massaging his nape. "Did I overslept?" He said still frowning as he look up the clock. "It's 5pm?!" No wonder his neck stiffened from a long sleep. "Oh no! I might miss the last bus!" He hurriedly get up the couch and ran to bathroom to wash up. He was supposed to go mountain hiking and spent the week there.

Jimin travels to Dobongsan Mountain every month to clear up his mind. He started doing it from the moment he "lost" Taehyung. During that time, he didn't only lost his his dearest friend nor his love but also himself.

He felt empty.

Demons are creeping out his head making it hard to move forward.

It was hell for him.

But with her grandmother nagging he managed to move forward slowly letting go of anguish, regrets and sadness pieces by pieces.

***
Jimin POV
It's almost night time but I managed to catch the last trip to Dobongsan mountain. I have many stories to tell this time.

You'll listen, right? Taehyung ssi?

I took the seat near the window. I like feeling the breeze while watching the birds fly in the seashore. They reminded of free-spirited Taehyung.

Do you miss me too? Are you happy? Stupid me keeps asking the same question knowing no one would answer. It would be great if I can your voice even once. I thought.

Sun slowly disappear and darkness covers the sky. I leaned my head against the glass window and stare at my own reflection.

Something has changed in me.

I'm ready...

I'm ready to let you go.

Taehyung POV
"Oh you're here!" Mom welcomed me with a smile. "Did you get tired on today's therapy?" She asked wiping sweat on her forehead. She looked exhausted but still managed to smile everyday.

"I'm fine mom." I smiled but I'm feeling really tired. I can feel a little throbbing pain in my head, gladly, it becomes more tolerable each day.

I silently walked towards the piano. Two years of missing your own memory is exasperating. There's a hole in my heart that gets bigger and bigger each day longing for that someone.

"Mom, do you want to hear my new composition?"

"Oh really?! Of course!" She responded and excitedly wait for me to play the piano.

"Sweet Night"
On my pillow
Can't get me tired

I opened my eyes feeling empty. Tragic memories kept playing my head.

Gunshots
Blood
Dead bodies

Sharing my fragile truth
That I still hope the door is open

I wanted to cry but I had no one.

Cause the window
Opened one time with you and me

But you came in my dreams. "You're the best! Taehyung ssi!, I'll support you always!" A happy voice that sparkles in this dark. A warmth feeling in this winter.

Now my forever's falling down
Wondering if you'd want me now

In this cold, you offer a cup of coffee. You gave more than warmth but salvation.

How could I know
One day I'd wake up feeling more

There were times I wanted to stay in that dream a little longer. To be with you.

But I had already reached the shore

But then reality hits me as I wake up. I'm alone again. Guess I'll just see you again in my dreams tonight.

Guess we were ships in the night
Night, night

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo
We were ships in the night, night, night

The vast clear sky I saw last night. I wonder if you're looking at it too. I tried reaching out but I don't know whom I reaching for.

I'm wondering
Are you my best friend?

Are you my bestfriend?

Feel's like a river's rushing through my mind

Why am I missing you like crazy?

I wanna ask you
If this is all just in my head

You're not just a dream, right?

My heart is pounding tonight
I wonder

Cause I think I'm falling for you.

Are too good to be true
And would it be alright if I
Pulled you closer

Even if you're not real, I still want to keep you.

How could I know
One day I'd wake up feeling more

It's crazy to miss someone I didn't know. Day by day, I'm longing for you more and more hoping one day I'll see you.

But I had already reached the shore
Guess we were ships in the night
Night, night

To return that warmth I feel whenever I think of you.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

We were ships in the night
Night, night

I'm missing you.

-To be continued-