Flowers For An Old Friend; DabiHawks (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 56; My Own Personal Hell

This chapter is what I would categorize as darker than the others.

I didn't really think about it while writing it, and I'm sorry.

I tried to delete excessive detail to make it better to read just in case.

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*Shiga's POV*

Everything is dark. It hurts.

My chest, my lungs, my throat.

My back and my wrist feel unbearable.

What the fuck even happened?

Every time I remember it, I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I'm surprised I'm still alive, but I know I deserve every second of this hell. The flames that burned at my side still hurt me, but I still couldn't move. Staying still was better.

He lied to me, all those years ago when he joined. He lied.

He said that he couldn't control how much damage his flames would do. Obviously he can, or I wouldn't still be alive. I don't want to be alive right now, I don't deserve it anymore.

I keep remembering things, I don't want to. I keep killing the ones I love, and now I'm here, chained up and locked away. I can't even move, and I can't disintegrate my bonds either.

The first time was in the forest, the second and third time were in here. I could feel the blisters from his burns all over my arms. I'm not sure which will kill me first, the petals or the flames. Why haven't the petals killed me yet anyway?

I killed her, they should've killed me.

I don't understand.

Why aren't I dead? Is it some sort of twisted punishment?

That's it.

This place, wherever it is, is my own personal hell.

I'm being burned for everything I did, but as long as I'm in this room I can't die. I have to live through every second, until something kills me.

I can't die in here, he won't let me.

I need to get out, but I cant move. I can move my body slightly, but I can't get out. I need to, I need this to stop.

The blisters on my wrists hurt, they aren't even rubbing against anything. I have them all the way down my arms and whenever it rubs, burning pain runs through my arms bad. So bad I couldn't sleep for the past few days. He wasn't even there, but the pain from last time still kept me up.

I never knew when he would show up, but at this point I knew that in the middle of the night wasn't safe either.

I can hear the door open, so I stay quiet. He's on the phone, and every nerve in my body wants me to scream for help. I can't. The last time I tried, nothing happened. Nothing except more burns. So I stay quiet, and maybe it'll hurt less. Or maybe he will pity me and finally end it.

"Yes, of course. I'll be right back Love Bird... Promise... I'll check on Eito on the way back." He glared at me, smiling a bit. "I'll be safe... I love you too." He hung up, still glaring at me.

I gulped, looking away from him. I could feel his glare, but I didn't say anything.

I refused to look over at him, even when he started looking around. I felt him sit down a bit away from me and hold some toast to my mouth. He said something, but I didn't answer, screwing my eyes shut.

"I said, eat." He repeated, grabbing onto my chin and forcing my mouth open. His fingertips sent searing pain throughout my lower jaw. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, but I did as told. I fucking hated it.

He finally let go of my chin, standing back up. I felt him grab onto my arms, already disturbing the blisters already there. Sudden pain flashed through them again, sending me kicking and screaming once again.

"Please! Just stop, stop please!" I screamed, surprised that no one could hear me. Was there not anyone around? Not anyone? No one could help me.

No one would want to help me anyway.

Maybe they knew, and they saw this as a fitting punishment? Pain and torcher for as long as I could endure? It's sick.

But I deserve it. All of it.

He stopped after what had felt like forever, leaving me sobbing at the lingering pain. I slumped over, screwing my eyes shut. He pushed his thumbs into the blisters on my arm, causing a pained cry to escape my throat.

"Why should I?" He teased, not releasing his hold on me. I couldn't focus on much other than the pain.

"What if your fucking boyfriend finds out? What will you do then?" I snapped, looking straight up at him.

I didn't look down, not even when he glared down at me again. He pushed into the blisters again, causing me to flinch.

"He's not going to find out." He growled, tightening his hold on me.

"How do you know that?" I squirmed, staring up at him. "How do you know that I won't scream until someone finds me? They would ask me who did it, and the burns I have are pretty damning evidence, don't you think? The only way to keep that from happening would be to kill me, right? You were given the permission to kill me."

He dug his nails into my arms, causing me to scream out again. The pain erupted through my body, and I didn't stop. I could only hope and pray that someone could hear me.

"No one's going to hear you, no one but me. Don't you understand that?" He grinned, looking down at me. "You're staying here, right here, until I decide you've dealt with enough." And it started again.

By the time he left, my arms and legs felt raw. The blisters from the other day were irritated. I felt like I was going to pass out any second.

I needed to get out, I couldn't live like this much longer.

And for the first time in a week, I fell asleep.

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