YOUR HEART KNOWS IT

PART 49: Daphne Part 1

The room is awfully quiet it's making me more anxious. Thinking about my pregnancy, Justin, everything is getting a toll on me. I closed the book that I was trying to read and put it back under the nightstand looking back in the direction of the clothes I left scattered earlier. Packing a bag for a two nights stay requires a lot of effort especially for a pregnant woman like me.

Rachel said she'll understand if I cannot come but I assured her I will be there, honestly, I wanted to go so bad that if hygiene is not in question then I would have driven there all by myself. But then again I'm pregnant, a high-risk pregnancy for that matter, and a person who's very particular about fashion and hygiene so an unplanned journey is not in my dictionary. Ha!

David called earlier and asked me if I wanted to save some effort and tag along with them, I would have said no, I would have loved to drive alone and have the time for myself but after much considerations, I said yes. It would not be the first time riding with them but sometimes it gets a little awkward for me. I know they're trying to keep it all for themselves but I'm sure that Cynthia and he are curious about my husband's whereabouts and I'm almost lost of reasons covering up for Justin.

I think it is a good idea to get away for the weekend but it would be much better if my husband who's been awol for a couple of days now would be able to join me. My eyes got a little moist but I'm sure this is just hormones, "Is it?" I asked myself. I leaned my back on the slat and rested my head on the headboard while I place my hands on top of my belly. "we'll be okay" I said as I look down and gently rubbed my belly. My thoughts got into me that I ended up sobbing, it's hard to explain what's causing all of this but I'm sure me getting emotional is just normal, right? It will pass, right? I told myself again and again as I scan the room reminiscing my memories of this house, this room, this bed. It hurts how we can never turn back time and how vastly things have changed between Justin and me.

Our home, he designed it himself spent most of his time building and finishing this house. At first, I thought it was just one of his projects. There were times time when we would go out on a date and we would somehow drop by here and he would always ask me questions and I swear it never gave me a hint. Then one time I made a joke of him having to build me a cabin first and he could propose to me in front of it and I promised that without further ado I'd say yes.
Little did I know he already had plans in mind exactly three months after I made that joke he asked me out on a date told me to be my prettiest and I did, I wore the only dress I had, the cheap gray dress whenever we go out.
"It doesn't matter to me what you wear" he whispered as I make my way out of the taxi. He might have noticed how nervous I am waiting for him to lead the way as I was wearing a blindfold. I thought we are going somewhere expensive that shyness and nervousness got the whole of me. I was holding tightly onto him even when he was removing the handkerchief placed in my eyes. He started talking but I could only put my hands in my mouth in awe when I was finally able to grasp the scene in front of me. It was beautiful, simple yet far beyond my expectations. No, it was not a restaurant, not a park, not someplace extravagant either but there were candles, balloons, and no other person but the two of us. Just us. Only me and him in a place familiar, a place I never imagined he built apparently for us.

"What--"
"Shh let me talk first," he said putting his index finger to his lips.
" Look at me Daph I should be the one ashamed for asking your hand right now without any promises of tomorrow,"
" You are what?" I interrupted
"Shhh!" He said again " I'm so nervous I think I'll faint if I will not be able to say these things," he said without a pause.

I can't help but smile I know he was overstating but I find it cute how nervous he is right now, " I love you, I want you, and I know fate brought us here together. I stayed up all night thinking that I don't deserve you and what I'll do if you say no. Should I chase you? Will I ever be able to catch you? If not could I let you go? I can't sleep at all and I can't think straight knowing that somebody else can love you if I let you slip away and I'm sorry if I'm running out of breath but this...."

I started crying. I wasn't even able to comprehend all of the things he was saying because I was crying nonstop but when I heard the question I managed to say yes. There's no need for me to think about it because I deserve this I deserve to be happy and I know he deserves me. I can see it in his eyes, he loves me for who I am and for what we'll become. We were the happiest back then, saying yes to the person you chose to spend your life with was an extraordinary feeling I would never regret.

He did not just build me a cabin but a house to call home. A two-story child-friendly house that would serve as the foundation of the family we dream to put together. This bed was made with the idea of four family members in mind but the size could fit two more if you ask me, he would always joke about not minding having a dozen. I would always tell him that two is a lot to handle for me but I try to assure him that if we'll be blessed with more then I wouldn't mind either. Then that day came he was so ecstatic so over the moon, so excited that he tends to be exaggerated on taking care of us, of me, of everything. If only he could I felt like he would have given me the world but tragedy has his way I guess, it wasn't meant to be, for me, for us. It was not meant to be.