Boundless Love

Alone

Levi's POV...

Emma and I are momentarily alone in my room. It's the perfect time to ask her what the hell is wrong with her today.

"Is everything alright? You're acting strange today," I ask her.

She looks at me, her lips pressed together in a firm straight line, eyes piercing through me, "No I'm not alright, none of this is alright," she states, finger pointing around the room. "This is too much for me," she doesn't hold back.

"Too much for you!...Too much for you?" I angrily repeat back. My body tenses up and I want to grab hold and shake some sense into her. She's not the one lying useless in this fucking bed while someone has to feed me and wipe my ass.

"What about me?" I growl back at her, anxious to hear what she has to say, but she lowers her head and sits there in silence. She's maddening sometimes, but I've learned how to get through to her.

"What were you and Mark talking about in the lounge this morning?" I try and change the subject a little.

She looks up at me surprised and rushes out her response. "We were talking about finishing the movie and how much I have to do back home. He said I can stay here longer, but I have so much to do, I can't put it all on hold. I'm...I'm ...going back tomorrow." The last words hit me like a brick wall as they quickly roll off her tongue.

She's really going back with Mark tomorrow? It's only been a few days and she's going to leave me here alone? I would never leave her alone if she were the one injured. I know her job is important and her contract is at stake, but I'm sure her manager can work something out with the producers. I can't believe she's not trying harder for me. Maybe this really is all too much for her to handle at once. Everything's happened so fast and we were rushed here without letting the reality of our situation sink in. She likes to follow a set plan and this sure wasn't part of it. She needs time to think, time to remember that we love and need each other and we can learn to navigate through this trauma together. She doesn't need to leave, she needs to stay.

"When will you be back?" I quietly ask her.

Tears now rolling down her cheeks, "Next weekend," she insists.

A week without her I can probably manage, as long as she's back for the weekend. A week away from me so she can collect her thoughts might be the best option for her, I don't know. Her leaving makes me angry and hurt mostly, but if this is my last night with her for the next seven days, I have to do something to make sure she knows I love her and that she loves me too. We can survive this.

"Go lock the door," I instruct her.

"What?"

"Go lock the door, then come back here." Surprisingly, she does what I say

"Now come here on the bed with me," I pat the bed with my right hand.

She hesitates for a moment  before sitting on the bed next to me. I tell her to press the button on the bed to sit me up further and she follows my instructions. She looks at me, tears slowly running down her face. My shaking arm reaches up and I carefully force my fingers to straighten so I can cradle her cheek in the palm of my hand. I then use my thumb to catch her tears and say, "Kiss me."

She slowly leans towards me and I softly press my lips onto hers, capturing her gentle moan with my mouth as I force my tongue to meet hers. I feel my body ignite with joy once her tongue caresses with mine.  Not wanting this moment to end, I fill my lungs with air and deepen the kiss.

My body shivers as she pulls her mouth away from mine and slowly trails her rounded lips along the crease of my neck, sucking at the extra sensitive skin at the top of my collar bone. The sensations in that area are heightened more than usual and I'm lucky to still be able to experience this type of intimacy. My right hand slowly and uncoordinatedly glides under her shirt and rests on her hip. Quiet gasps release from her mouth. "You want this, it's what we needed," I groan. My head tilting back into the pillow while she kisses me.

Fuck! I want to grab both her hips and pull her on top of me, but I know I can't. Instead my arms and legs are unexpectedly quivering just from her touching my chest.

Thankfully, my joggling limbs don't seem to bother her too much because she unconsciously starts to slide her hands down to my sweatpants, and right as she begins to slip her fingers under the waistband, I instinctively reach my hand down to stop her. I almost forgot that I'm wearing a diaper and I already feel self conscious enough, I don't want her to be turned off knowing I have to wear these. "Emma," I whisper loudly.

Her hand freezes when she makes contact with said material and she immediately pulls her mouth away from my neck, her eyes looking up at me bewildered. For a moment she remains silent, her expression instantly turns from passion to pity and she climbs off my bed.

"Shit! Sorry!" I immediately blurt out. I fail to grip her hand knowing all too well what she's probably thinking and hating myself for being the cause.

"I wanted to kiss you," I say softly. My voice pleading, "I miss your touch and I'm going to miss seeing you everyday."

She takes my shaking hand in hers, our eyes still locked. I want her to still feel a craving for me, but the look in her eyes are confirming my worst fear....regret!

"I love you Emma," I choke. I can feel the water begin to fill my eyes.

"I love you too," she says and then leans over and kisses my forehead.

"I'm sorry I have to leave, but I will call you every day," she tells me.

"You better," I press. "And we will see each other next weekend, things will be better," I promise her.

This time she kisses me goodbye on the lips before turning away and walking out the door, leaving me here in this place. I thought learning about my paralysis was bad, but knowing I'm alone is worse.