Boundless Love

Elephant in The Room

Charlotte's POV...

"Charlie! Are you feeling alright? You look like you haven't slept in days! I'm concerned! " Nate caringly points out.

"I haven't been sleeping well," I admit.

"My follow-up scans are today and I'm worried about the results."

"Do you want me to come with you for support? I know you'd rather have Levi there, but since you haven't  told him or anyone else about what's been going on with you, I think maybe you need me!" Nate professes his concerns to me.

"I'll have Sarah keep Levi occupied with some extra stair climbing while we sneak away for your appointment," he tries to convince me.

I find myself nervously pacing around my office. "I don't know," I say to him.

"Charlie, we talked about this. You've gone through this alone long enough, I'm coming!" Nate says sternly. "And I'm driving you, now let's go," he adds before taking my arm and leading me out the door, unnoticed by anyone else.

I'm happy to have Nate here with me, he's become one of my best friends and I don't know what I'd do without him around. My guilt is tearing up my soul though, it's Levi who should really be here supporting me. My lack of energy doesn't only come from the treatments I've been hiding, it's more the bitter fatigue of self-reproach and the anticipation of the regret I'll have when Levi finds out what I've been keeping from him.

Two weeks have passed since our day together at World's End park. My emotions have been out of control all week, knowing that Levi's graduation party is tomorrow and after the weekend, he'll be flying back to London. Neither Levi or I want him to go, but we've talked about it in length over the last week, and we both have come to realize that he needs to go. It won't be for long. After he completes the job Mark has lined up for him and after I take care of this stupid brain tumor, we'll be together again. As long as my current issue is gone before Levi's work finishes, I should be good.

What concerns me the most about sending Levi home, is the amount of uncontrolled leg spasms he's been having during the last two weeks. They aren't too intense or painful lately, but they're there. They happen mostly in his left lower leg, where his calf and ankle muscles have lingering effects from his spinal cord injury. He's regained just enough strength and muscle tone so that he can walk and climb stairs on his own, but when he's tired or anxious about something, that's when the spasms return. I had a new brace made for him a few days ago. The brace reaches higher up his calf, but it seems to be helping with his gait and gives him more support when using the stairs without a crutch. Levi's done exceptionally well during this program, considering this brace is the only assist he needs after such a traumatic injury.

"We're ready for you Charlotte," the nurse breaks my train of thought.

Nate and I have been silently sitting in the hospital waiting room.

"I'll be right here waiting for you," Nate says.

After my scans, I grab Nate and allow him to accompany me into the doctor's office to hear the results. Having a friend with me is comforting, I have to admit. The doctor explains that my treatments are working, but they want the tumor even smaller so that it'll be easier to remove. So, Starting next week, my treatment increases to five days a week for the next four weeks, and then surgery. Nate squeezes my hand assuring me that he'll help in whatever way he can. I thank him with a nod, and we head outside to his car. The drive back is so quiet, one can hear a pin drop. Nate is worried for me, I can see it on his face. Neither of us want to speak about the obvious. I'm just glad Levi won't be here to witness my bad days ahead, he'll be home and happy and doing the things he's missed out on the last year.