I Can't Loose You Too (Kiribaku)

(11) secret garden

I decided to continue it. Mostly thanks to -Kiri- she's really supportive and anyone else who supported me to continue. Thanks so much. So I hope you enjoy it.

Enjoy remember I love receiving your feedback and opinions

I couldn't believe it. My family was dead all gone. For the past two days, I locked myself in my room. I didn't want to go out. I just wanted to die. Of course, my friends have been worried. I understand seeing I've been seeing in my dorm for two whole days. They tried talking to me trying to get me out. When Mina couldn't do it Kat tried. They even called my brother but all of them got the same response.

"Plead I just want to be alone". Denki slid candy and chocolate under my door to try to cheer me up I really appreciated them so much. Tomorrow was the funeral. I was obviously going because as much as I didn't want to I had to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't say goodbye properly.

Kat would always stop by my door and say good morning before he left for school and goodnight before he went to bed. He always left food at my door. So when I was sure he left I'd slightly open it and take the breakfast or dinner he made for me. Although most of the time I didn't feel like eating he begged me to eat or he'd break down my door and knowing him he would do it. I just didn't want to be alive. Mr. Aizawa tried to get me to go talk to the counselor or a therapist or anyone but I didn't want to. I knew I was being selfish because I wasn't the only one in pain, I wasn't the only one suffering. I cried myself to sleep at night as u had been every night.

"Beep beep beep." I switched off my alarm as I slowly got out of bed. Today was their funeral. Today I had to say goodbye. I had to let go. But I couldn't it was just too hard. As I showered, did my hair, and brushed my teeth. Which I haven't done in a while. I know disgusting but can you blame me?

After I was ready. I texted Kat to please come to my dorm so we could go together. I also told him not to tell anyone because I didn't want to be around them right now. I just wanted him. After a while, he responded saying to give him time to get ready and he'll be right over. The funeral doesn't start for another four hours so I wanted to leave before anyone saw me.

We were currently in Kat's car. I was wearing a hoodie over my black dress. He didn't say a word which I let him know I appreciate by holding his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. I didn't want to talk I just wanted to be around someone that makes me happy.  He didn't question why we left four hours early, he didn't question where we were going. I just set the Gps in his car and he started to drive. I stared out the window holding Kat's hand while he drove with the other. It wasn't completely silent there was soft music playing. I could tell he put my favorite songs to try to cheer me up. After a while, I silence I spoke up.

"Kat, can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can" I felt his eyes glance slightly towards me but I kept my gaze out the window. "Do you think......" I trailed off but he stayed silent giving my hand a light squeeze as if to say 'take you time.' I took a deep breath. "Do you think...I'm being selfish...I mean Mina was also sad about their death but I just focused on me... locked myself away and just made everyone more worried" I felt him tense up a little when he spoke. "I don't think so I mean yes we were worried sick. But we also understood I mean your whole family died. You'd obviously need some space and time to be alone......everyone grieves in their own way that was just your way...don't feel guilty ok? and I don't think it makes you selfish at all" he said taking a turn. I murmured a "Thank you" he just shrugged "I'm just telling the truth" I turned to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I missed that," he said with a chuckle. "Hey, Kiri just know I'm always here for you ok? You don't have to go through this alone" I couldn't help but smile a little. "Thanks, Kat" I'm so lucky to have such an amazing boyfriend and friends. Speaking of friends I'll make sure to apologize to them especially Mina. "Right there," I said pointing to a small park. He parked the car and we got out.

"Follow me" I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the far end of the park. Then thought a bush. "Wow I didn't know you could go through there," he said "yea this is a 'secret place' I and my siblings discovered when I was still in middle school," I said pulling him down the path. There it was surrounded but cherry blossom trees and a small pond next to one of the trees. "It's beautiful," I said taking a step forward. "Yea this where we'd come to get away from reality you know?" He hummed looking at the cherry blossoms. "Well feel free to choose a spot to sit I'll be right back" he raised an eyebrow at me as I walked away but didn't question it and just walked towards the small pond.

I walked to the back of one of the trees with a hole and reached in pulling out a small bag. I walked over to Kat. I could see the confusion on his face. "We came here A lot so we put a bunch of things in here," I said taking out a huge blanket and laying it down. And sitting on it.

Then I pulled out a small speaker and connected my phone. "We each brought one thing and put it in here before Zach left he put his old speaker he'd always play load rock music on it."  He just hummed and breathed in the fresh air.  As I pressed shuffle on my playlist and put the volume low. Then I pulled out a sketchbook with a pencil case. Before I could explain he spoke up.

"Let me guess Aki would practice her designs in there...I remember her saying she wanted to be a fashion designer" he said looking at the book in my hands and turning back to the pond. "Mhmm" I looked at it and felt the tears gather in my eyes, but I also had a small smile as a flipped through it. "What did you bring?" I looked through the bag pulling out Dabi's soccer ball, and The two dolls Toga put. Then pulled out a small camera.

"Wow, how many cameras do you have?" He asked teasingly. I did photography as a hobby but I had like five cameras. Don't ask why because I don't know either. We took off our shoes and stuck our feet in the pond,  talking and laughing a little for a while then settled back down on the blanket.

I leaned on his shoulder with everything on my lap. I picked up the camera going through it. I felt a small smile on my face but tears running down my cheeks as I looked at all the photos of my siblings and Shigaraki in some. I wonder how he's dealing with this?

Kat just smiled as he lifted my head off his shoulder and wiped my tears with his thumbs kissing my forehead. "We would leave soon you know the venue is like half an hour from here. we took a half-hour probably a bit more to get here and we've been here for like two hours so if he heads back now we still have time to stop for food" I didn't want to go but I knew I had to so I put everything back and returned the bag. Taking Kat's hand and walking out of our ' secret garden '

We dove for a while stopped for food and flowers then drove off to the funeral venue. I'm not sure if I can do this I don't want to let go of them.

I'm glad you read this far thanks