the notes [m.c.]

one- stop, Devon

this story is probably gunna get...weird. so if you're like 9 you should leave hA
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ashton grabbed my hand. I smiled, looked into his mesmerizing eyes, and squeezed his.

I sat down in our favorite booth, the one Ashton asked me to be his girlfriend in. usually im not all sentimental but this just made me happy.

we were at the restaurant we told the guys to come to but michael, luke, and calum weren't here yet. typical. those losers don't even know what a clock is.

"babe?" ashton said looking down at his phone. "yea?" I said hoping he wouldn't say he had to leave again. he comes and goes all the time.

Michael has a theory he's off fighting aliens, but you know, it's Michael. ashton never does tell me where he's going and it always leads to a fight, so it's better i just let him go. but this time, if he leaves, I've had enough.

"so, you cool with that, baby?" ash said as I came back from my thoughts.
"um. what?" I responded, realizing I zoned out of the conversation at the wrong time. oops.

" i said, I gotta go. I need to, um, I just gotta go..." he said looking back to his phone. "but the boys are coming. and where are you going anyway?" I said with annoyance in my voice.

I swear I've had enough of this stupid back and forth.

"do you want to have another fight right now? in the middle of the restaurant? I'm going." he said as he got up, in a huff.

"why do you always do this?! you just leave and get mad when I want you to stay! tell me where you are going ashton." I said a little louder than I should have and stood up to show him I was getting angry.

"don't get me started, devon. don't you dare start this here, babe. people are staring. just calm down so I can go before anything more happens." he responded.

"you're treating me like a fucking child, 'babe.'" i said mockingly, "just leave. before we stop happening." I turned away from him, making sure he didn't see the tears in my eyes. he cannot see my weakness.

I regret saying what I said, but at least he looked scared.

i then turn back to make sure he was gone and notice the boys standing in the doorway with confused and surprised faces. they saw the whole fight. this will be fun.

i motioned them to come sit down at the booth and I sat down myself.

"what the hell went down with ash?" Calum asked.
"he left. again. he wouldn't tell me to where, and honestly, I don't care where he is right now. can we not talk about him? he pissed me off." I responded.

I hope they would just drop it. they know how bad our fights can get.

"yeah. it's all good, devon." Michael said as he sat down and wrapped his arm around me. i snuggled into his shoulder and put my hand on his knee.

I don't know why, but being with Michael makes me feel safe. unlike with ashton. he just makes me anxious, but I love him. I don't know how, but I fucking love him.

"hello? devon? where did you go?" luke said clapping his hands.
"sorry... I was thinking." I said, trying to stop my thoughts of Michael.

luke stared at me for a second before saying, "well, I was thinking and I think we should all like skip school on-"
"shut up, Luke. I'm gunna go order. devon, come with?" Michael asked. perfect. how does he know when I'm thinking of him?

"yeah, sure. as long as you don't make me pay. again." I said chuckling.
we were walking to the lady to order our pizza when Michael pulled me into a hallway and pushed me up against the wall.

"Michael! what the hell?!" I said in a loud whisper. I don't know what it was about Michael, but he just makes me feel so... happy. I kind of liked him pulling me away, but I'm definitely not telling anyone that. it's not like I like him or anything... ha.. ha ... ha. do I like him?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. but when I saw the way ashton was treating you... I knew you weren't okay. devon, I'm here. I'm here for you." Michael said in a sweet tone.

this guy just knows how to melt my heart. wait. devon. what are you thinking. stop. this is Michael. I realized Michael was just staring at me waiting for my response.

"thank you." i said squeezing him into a tight hug where he nuzzled his mouth into my neck and started placing little kisses up and down my neck. i can feel him smirk when I gasped in surprise.
I got a feeling I never got with Ashton.

he was gentle, he was sweet, he was....not Ashton. I never thought Michael would be so ...wait...what was I doing?!

While I was thinking, Michael crashed his lips into mine. Michael is kissing me. wait. I'm kissing back.

I just feel so safe, so wanted. something I never got with Ashton. I felt....loved. but he couldn't. right? this is Michael Clifford we're talking about.

after realizing he and I had been practically making out, I pulled his arm away from the small of my back, pulled his head away by his hair, scared I would pull his hair out, and widened my eyes. "what the fuck, Michael?" I said, confused.

I know what I wanted him to say. I wanted him to want me. just like the way I want him. NO. I don't want him. okay...maybe.

"I just... I can't hide it anymore. I just want-" Michael said stuttering.
"SPIT IT OUT!" I said jokingly, making him blush.

Michael stared at me for a moment and groaned then squeezed his eyes shut, which made me giggle, then said, "I'm trying! devon! I...i fucking love you."

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so this is my first fanfic and idk if it's gunna be good but aye I'm trying okay well bye I guess