the notes [m.c.]

four- beyond conflicted

hehe I'm planning some smut in this one...again ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-

I woke up with Michael's arms wrapped around me tightly and our legs entwined under the covers.

before we fell asleep he took of his jeans so he was just wearing his boxers and I put on a big shirt and shorts.

I looked up at Michael and he looked just like a kitten. his hair was fluffy, eyes shut, and his lips were parted just slightly. his cheeks were rosey and he still smelled of his cologne.

anytime I would move, he pulled me in closer while nuzzling his mouth into my neck whispering sweet things.

I giggled when Michael turned me around and stared at me. I couldn't help but smiling. he stroked my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

i got on top of him and he placed both his hands on my waist. he pulled me down and slowly starting kissing me passionately. he slipped his hand under my shirt and started pulling it up. as I was pulling it off my phone starting ringing and buzzing. who the fuck is it now? why can't I just have my moment with Michael and not have to worry about anything?

Michael groaned as I swung my legs around the side of bed and snatched up my phone quickly, just wanting the ringing to stop.

I looked down at the screen and saw who was calling. Ashton. well, shit.

I picked it up and said, "hey, ashton. um, what's up?"

"knock, knock," Ashton said gleefully.

"uh... who's there?" I answered back, not knowing what was happening.

Ashton giggled for a moment then said almost screaming, "me!!! I'm outside your front door! come let me in, I have a surprise!" he said most of it sing-songly, which for some reason made me blush.

"oh! oh. I'll be down in a sec...just wait, okay? okay," I said quickly, then hanging up.

"well, michael, time for part two of your window adventures," I said hopping out of bed and turning around to face him.

"you can't be fucking serious. that was Ashton wasn't it?" he said, also getting out of bed.

"yeah...he's at my front fucking door. you gotta go. now. unless you wanna have this whole "I think I'm in love with Michael conversation with Ashton" right now," I said gathering up his clothes.

"wait. you think you're in love with me?" Michael said smirking and trying to put his hands on my waist.

"Michael! you gotta go! we'll talk later! now goooo!" I said giggling while pushing him toward the window, then helping him out.

he hopped down, blew me a kiss, and walked away, slowly putting his clothes on piece by piece. he's such an idiot. a beautifully perfect idiot.

-

I walked downstairs and opened the door to see Ashton wearing his best black jeans, an actually not ripped shirt, and his hair neatly messed up with gel. he was holding a bouquet of daisies that had a purple ribbon tied around it. he knows my favorite color. points for him.

he looked up and smirked, handing me the flowers. I hesitantly took them and told him to come in.

"babe, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the fight and....and im sorry that I cheated on you," he said actually looking ashamed.

I was surprised. hearing it from Ashton made it feel so real. I mean, I cheated on him too. but he said we broke up! I don't know. maybe I'm just looking for excuses for what Michael and I just did to be okay.

"you cheated on me? with who?" I asked, feeling tears come to my eyes.

"I was drunk, devon. it was just a girl I met at a party. we made out, but I couldn't go all the way. that's when I called you," he said looking down at his feet. in which he was wearing his best converse. why so dressy Irwin?

"ashton. you cheated on me. flowers and a nice outfit won't change what you did," I said showing him how stern I could be.

"I figured. but, maybe, this will," ashton said grabbing my waist and pulling me close to him. I resisted at first, but his angel soft lips drew me in.

he kissed me hard, then pushed me up against a wall. I moaned slightly when he pulled my shirt up, motioning me to take it off.

I pulled it off, not even realizing what I was getting myself into.

with Michael it felt so natural, like we were just meant to have those moments. now, with ashton, it's fiery. as if we were in a movie, the couple everyone roots for because of the way they melt together.

no matter what he does, I can't get over this wavy haired, long fingered, sexy boy. he's just so enticing. the relationship we have is crazy, no, exciting.

Michael and I have this thing I've been searching for in ashton. he loves me. he cares for me. we work perfectly together. I want Michael. I want Ashton. fuck.

while I was thinking, Ashton had taken off his shirt. he took my hand and placed it on his rock hard abs, while he worked on unclipping my bra.

once it was off, it slid down my arms and he scooped me up, bridal style, taking me into my bedroom.

my parents had gone to work, since they work on the weekends, so the house was just ours.

he laid me down on my bed and crawled on top of me. after pinning me down, he looked at me straight in the eye and said, "I love you, baby girl. I love every part of you. and I'm just so sorry for all I've done. I love you."

"I...i love you too, ash. I love you too. kiss and make up?" I ask smiling.

he chuckled and placed his lips back onto mine, moaning as I grabbed his hips, then playing with the button of his pants.

this was exactly what I wanted from Ashton. compassion.

this is also what I get from michael. true, genuine love.

i don't know what to think, or who to want. all I know is love is hard, complicated, and has gotten me beyond conflicted.

-

haHAHA even I was rooting for Michael and Devon but this dashton stuff has got me mad at myself hah but seriously. that mevon scene. okay well love you all bye friends