Chasing after Chances [Fangirl & Idol Series #1]

thirty-five

Ending

I'm just living a normal life not until our eyes met. First concert, yet she caught my attention. I serenaded her. And I kissed her cheek while tons of people were watching.

"Hmm honestly, you caught my attention."

After my performance ended, I changed my clothes. I immediately went out of the venue. I hate media.

But they saw me. And I saw her. I pulled her with me. She was about to scream that's why I kissed her.

"Don't tell this to anyone. I don't want any rumors to spre- Fuck! They're here again." But this time, she kissed me. And that's the time that I felt something different.

That night... I wasn't expecting anything else. I was her first and she was my first. I wasn't drunk that night.. But still, she let me.

"I want an ordinary girl. Just like you, Xianna, ayoko sa mga sikat."

"If I were to fall for an ordinary girl, it would be you. Something makes me want to get closer with you. Too early for a confession but why does my heart beats so fast when I'm with you? Who are you?"

My early confessions. I was trying to tell her my real feelings without saying it directly. Yes, I know, she's somewhat connected to my past. I've seen her before. I just don't remember where and how.

"I am not an idol if I don't have a fan. My fans are my inspiration and so you are. You are not just an ordinary girl, 'cause you are so special to me. You will never be the reason for my career to be ruined. I like you, Xianna." Our first night together became the real confession.

I became busy after that night. I couldn't even talk to her. Ms. Lovey was so strict. I was beaten by frustration. Shairah released a statement that we were dating.

The next day, I told her to meet me. That's when a paparazzi saw us and created a false news, saying that we're dating.

On the day of my concert, I saw her. I ran out of the venue when she pulled Zandra with her outside. The first time that I received a slap...

"Sana hindi nalang ako pumayag na ikaw ang maging una ko. At nung gabing 'yon na sinabi mong gusto mo ako? Siguro katawan ko lang kailangan mo.. Sige na, bumalik ka na sa loob." No. If all I need that night was your body, then I would've grabbed the chance. I would've done something to you.

She didn't listen to me. Well, I can't blame her. I'm an idol, and every issue may be true or not.

My world almost fell apart. Seeing her with Xhaiven.. They publicly announced that they were dating. But the truth is... they weren't in a relationship yet.

I confronted her. And she told me that she gave herself to Xhaiven. It caused an extreme pain. A pain that was directly injected to my heart. But I chose to understand. I love her.

And we got back together. But it's not really the good time for us. 'Cause she signed a contract with Ohhsome's manager. A year being my co-idol's girlfriend. That's another pain...

I called her multiple times after the photoshoot for Ohhsome's new album. How can I stay calm after seeing their photos?

I was with Shairah. We had a talk inside a room. Because we can't talk outside. I was begging her to stop releasing false statements. I went to the bathroom to wash my face after she kissed me.