Can you Stand the Rain (Antonio Dawson)

Love me or Leave me

I woke up with the sun in my eyes, I leaned over, and the other side of the bed was cold. I rolled over Antonio was gone but there was a note on the nightstand

Running late to meet Voight I will call you later

---Antonio

I sighed then put it back and tried not to overthink the situation, but my mind was already racing. 'He's still married and I'm quite sure he's still in love with his wife'

"Stupid." I said to myself then I got in the shower to wash away my shame, it was when I am stripping my bed that I realize we didn't use any protection. I was totally careless last night but being with him felt right, I just got ready for my day and went through the motions it wasn't until around lunch I broke and called him, but he didn't answer. I knew he was buys trying to solve this case, but I couldn't help but second guess myself

"Alayna!" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Natalie

"Did you need something?" I said

"Yeah I've been calling you for almost five minutes." She said taking a seat across from me

"What's up?"

"I think I did something bad last night."

"Ok... is it illegal?"

"Once upon a time it was. Like biblical times."

"Alayna just tell me what happened."

"I uh... I slept with Antonio last night."

"Gaby's brother?"

"Shh."

"It's just us in here. He likes you and you like him what's the problem?" She asked then looked shocked

"Was it bad?" She asked and I chuckled

"No! it was honestly the best sex I've ever had."

"So, what's the problem?"

"He's still married! And he was gone before I woke up this morning, and I tried to call him, but he didn't answer, we didn't use protection, and I'm fairly sure I'm in love with this man and he still loves his wife."

"Ok one thing at a time did you take a Plan-B?"

"Not yet."

"Ok let's go do that and we'll talk about the rest on the way." She said and we walked to an exam room she left me in there while she went to get my pill. I couldn't help but check my phone in case Antonio had called or texted but nothing. I felt like crying but I wouldn't not yet he's solving the murder of a 10-year-old. I felt like an awful person because I had to keep reminding myself of that as Natalie came back in

"Here."

"Thanks." I said taking the pill

"You know for what it's worth, he does have feelings for you. I can see that in the way he looks at you."

"But what if he decides to go back? They were together forever, and they have kids."

"He's not I haven't met her, but I can tell on his end it's over. Don't forget he's still at work in one of the busiest units in the city. I know he'll call before the day is over." She said

"I keep telling myself that, but the doubts are so loud." I said then both of our pagers went off

"Let's go save some lives and I'll take you out for drinks after."

"Anywhere but Molly's." I said

"Deal." She said

Two weeks later

Still radio silence between Antonio and I, I never tried calling again but I was feeling depressed about the whole thing. I dumped all of that into work I hardly went home I practically lived at the hospital. I saw on the news that intelligence solved the murder of the little girl, a high school basketball star and he uncle who was already doing life set up the hit to stop her from testifying.

"Dr Cortez, these are the x-rays of Ruthie Sellars." Dr. Helms my medical student said to me, I looked at them

"That's a bad break, book an OR." I told her

'Shouldn't we run more tests?" She asked me

"No, she has osteoporosis this happens when they get older."

"She's 28." She added and I looked at her

"Oh, ok draw some blood run a full battery." I told her then I walked out and right into Banfield

"Sorry."

"What is going on with you?" she snapped

"What do you mean?"

"You've walking around here like a zombie for the past two weeks, and don't think I didn't just hear what happened in there. You can have your personal issues but don't let it interfere with your work."

"Do you hear me?" She asked and I nodded

"I hear you." I said and she eyed me and walked away

Once I got Ruthie's tests back it wasn't good. She was malnourished and was developing a heart murmur, so I brought in Banfield.

"So, Ruthie your test came back you're malnourished, low vitamin D and calcium which caused the break."

"So, I'm I going to need surgery? Because I'm supposed meet my trainer at 2." She said and I looked at her in disbelief

"Well that won't be happening today, not for a while actually." I said

"What's awhile?" Hey boyfriend asked

"8 to 12 weeks." I said

"She's going to be in a cast for 3 months?"

"Longer if she doesn't start eating more and working out less." Banfield told her

"So, you want her to be unhealthy?"

"Will said we would move in together if I got back down to a size 4." She said taking his hand I glared at the guy

"How romantic." Banfield said sarcastically but Ruthie jumped to his defense

"We both agreed, and I won't live with a smoker, so he quit."

Cate and I shared a look

"Be that as it may we can fix the leg, but you have to start taking better care of yourself."

"Look can you fix her leg?" Will snapped

"Yes but- "He cut me off

"Then fix it that's all we came here for."

"Dr. Helms book the OR." I said then we started to walk out when Ruthie began throwing up blood

"We need to move now! Helms grab whatever OR is prepped on my order" Cate said, and she ran out of the room and we moved into surgery

"She has a perforating ulcer." Helms said after we opened Ruthie up

"Yep I'm not surprised with the not eating and the amount of ibuprofen she was taking."

"And there's not tell what other dietary aides she might've been taking." I said

"Why would she do this for that jerk?" Helms said

"Because people are stupid, and they'll do anything or be anyone just to be loved. I'd rather be on my own in a house full of cats before I accept a conditional love." She said

Then the monitor started going off

"Her BP is dropping."

"I got a heavy bleed here."

"Push the epi."

"Come on Ruthie don't let him win." I said to her

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