Strictly Personal ( SEQUEL) - Completed ✔

Chapter 39

"French Del Reno. Let me guess, everywhere you go someone is wearing that expensive cologne."     "What?"   JK is trying to take in what Jin has just said.  "The cologne scent Jungkook-ah." Jin looks up at JK who seems to be drunk. "You drank over your limit?  Is it Yugyeom?" JK doesn't hesitate. "Yes. Jin I'm sorry. I should've told you about Yugyeom on yesterday, but I didn't know what to say."   "So, French Del Reno wasn't the scent of a packed tourist place?"    "Jin, I haven't all together been thinking rationally lately." JK gets on his knees in front of Jin. He almost falls over but Jin, still feeling protective of JK, stops him from falling. "Jin, look at me please. I need to tell you something." Jin looks at JK and he knows what JK is getting ready to tell him is something he is not ready to hear. He watches as tears fall down JK's face. Tears now are beginning to form in Jin's eyes. Jin turns his head from JK.

"I ran into him at the café yesterday. He showed me around Paris. We had lunch and nothing happened. Before you joined me in the hot tub last night, the 'what if's' played in my head. I don't know why or how but it did." It could have been my guilt in finding out I broke his heart over a lie. "Stop fucking talking Jungkook-ah."  JK feels a need to tell Jin everything. "I called him earlier so that he could finish showing me around Paris. Everything was innocent." JK wipes away some of his tears with his sleeves. "Innocent? You sitting in our damn hot tub, thinking about him and you didn't feel not one damn ounce of guilt toward me? All this time, you have been making me feel guilty Jungkook-ah. I sat in that hot tub with you last night, while you soaked in your guiltiness. You sat there and you watched me become saturated in you pool of guilt. You rejected me last night not because I did something wrong, but because of the guilt you were dealing with. Damn it Jungkook-ah, just stop talking."   And without fail, JK continues.

"Today at lunch, he kissed me unwarranted and I ended the lunch."    "Jungkook-ah. Why are you telling me this?" Jin cries out while holding his head down. "Here I've always thought he broke my heart, but I broke his heart Jin. He wasn't married and I felt like I owed him, like I had to pay him for time he lost waiting for me. I never once thought I owed him my heart, but I felt like I owed him something."    "You felt like you owed him something, but you didn't feel like you owed me the truth? You lied to me Jungkook-ah. You never lied to me."   "I'm sorry Jin.  I got absorbed in the fact that I could alleviate how bad I was feeling if I made amends for the hurt I caused him."   JK looks at Jin who face is red with anger and tears. JK tries to keep eye contact with Jin. "Did you fuck him Jungkook-ah?"     "No Jin. But tonight, he kissed me and I let it linger too long. At that moment I don't know if it was the wine consumption or me feeling guilty or both. I don't know Jin, but I stopped it from going any further."   

Jin looks at JK and tears are falling down his face. "Why? Jungkook-ah, did you think of me at all?" JK looks at Jin and breaks down crying. "I'm so sorry Jin." Jin looks at JK and tears continue to fall down his face.   "Say something Jin. Just say anything." Jin looks at JK. "I tried to plan the perfect wedding for you, especially finding out from Lisa that this was your dream wedding, and with her help, I tried to duplicate every detail of your winter white and silver wedding here in Paris. I wanted to make your dream a reality like you made mine. I couldn't tell you about the many meetings I had with Adrienne Winsford and Colin Cowell, because you told Lisa that you wanted it to be a surprise wedding and that's how I had wanted it also. I didn't want to have sex because I wanted our hunger for each other to build causing our love making on our wedding night to be the best we had ever experienced because of our pent up desires.  I compromised on my overwhelming desires to make love to you this whole trip. You know how bad it was for me to see you hurt, upset, angry, and rejecting me Jungkook-ah? I started questioning whether I was going to lose you before this wedding.  I started to cancel your dream wedding because I was afraid of losing you. It's funny, while I spent all this time thinking about losing you, you never once said you were afraid of losing me." Jin hands JK a photo and walks out.  JK turns the photo over and sees that Yugyeom lied to him. The lady who had called him was indeed Yugyeom's wife. JK breaks down.